I am new to this forum but thought it a good idea to sign up and share what for me has been a terrible time of late.
I have suffered from depression for a number of years. I am 26 now and have been aware of my depression since the age of 16. It all started out back at school when i was involved in heavy cannabis use.
I started smoking it at the age of 16 and then gave it up at the age of 20 when I went off to university to study for my degree in graphic design.
I have subsequently completed my degree in 2004 and have spent the last 4 years stumbling from one catastrophie to the next.
I am unable to hold down a job and have had several jobs for short periods of time and one which led to what i can only describe as some kind of breakdown. Since leaving that last job I have being trying to pursue a freelance career which isnt even providing me with anywhere near enough income to support myself.
I have developed some quite serious social problems, I drink heavily, Im on anti-depressents and I am gradually withdrawing from all social contact. I have iregular sleep patterns and most days i will rise albiet reluctantly at mid-day.
I feel though now that I have reached a real crisis point and that I will need to take action if i am to have any chance of leading a normal life. Up until 3 months ago I had been living with my partner of 4 years who was supporting me finacially as well as emotionally.
The relationship broke down over time and she was no longer able to cope with my sporadic income, perculiar social habits and continous drinking. It is worth my saying that this girl was one-in a million. Very attractive, down to earth, kind and compassionate of others.
Whats has sparked this turning point was me finding out that she has started to see other people and has in fact been having casual sex with someone she encountered in a nightclub. And all this has been going on in the flat that we used to share togther and th one i had to move out of after our split.
I am utterly devastated to such and extent that the pain is almost palpable. I havent slept since hearing the news and have been drinking during the day to obliterate my feelings. I feel phisically sick imagining her having sex with someone else so soon after our split. The images have been plaguing me day and night on like a repetitive loop and it has been driving me to desperation. So much so that i am considering going to flat and assulting whoever it is that has been sharing a bed with her.
This is destroying my life, the drink the unhappiness the lack of any structure in my life. I feel so desperately sad.
I had attended an interview ebfore hearing the news in an attempt to go back into employment but was truned down on account of having been drunk whilst there.
Does anyone have any tips from recovering from broken relationships and getting over the pain felt from seeing your partner pursuing other sex partners.
thanks for listening...