My mouth doesn't listen to me

Hey Kate,

Where are you from and where do you live?

Hey, I'm not really sure why it matters. But OK: I'm from Poland (nothing to boast about )

And you said that there are people you don't do this with? Who are those people?

There are few friends that seem to be interested in what i think and like listening to me.
Do you have any idea how to help my irrational behavior to other people?

Dear Kate

I empathize with you but there is help. I had a stammer when I was 12 -
I hated the way I spoke and would freeze when asked to stand an recite a verse in school. Determined to make changes I did odd jobs and paid for elocution lessons for a year.

The confidence you will never know! and the feeling that I could actually not be afraid to talk in public boosted my confidence. At 40 I went to a weekend course in London, called the voice is the business and learned how to throw my voice without shouting. I read every motivational book I could lay my hands on- at 55 years I completed A Life Coaching Course and now help individuals overcome fears and obstacles and help them live their life as intended. At 64 I am realizing a dream come true I am doing a BA degree in Sociology /Politics and German 2nd year.

Life is Wonderful and I thank God for helping me develop my talents so I can help others.

There is no limit to what YOU can do -if You only believe in Yourself

I am available for a free 45 minute coaching consultation

MrPositive wrote:Dear Kate

I empathize with you but there is help. I had a stammer when I was 12 -
I hated the way I spoke and would freeze when asked to stand an recite a verse in school. Determined to make changes I did odd jobs and paid for elocution lessons for a year.

The confidence you will never know! and the feeling that I could actually not be afraid to talk in public boosted my confidence. At 40 I went to a weekend course in London, called the voice is the business and learned how to throw my voice without shouting. I read every motivational book I could lay my hands on- at 55 years I completed A Life Coaching Course and now help individuals overcome fears and obstacles and help them live their life as intended. At 64 I am realizing a dream come true I am doing a BA degree in Sociology /Politics and German 2nd year.

Life is Wonderful and I thank God for helping me develop my talents so I can help others.

There is no limit to what YOU can do -if You only believe in Yourself

I am available for a free 45 minute coaching consultation

I really appreciate your comments and these are more helpful to the guys like me.

Hi Kate

To be honest, it doesn't sound like you've got a public speaking problem - more of a self-respect issue.

While you *could* use public speaking as a way of developing your self-respect, it's much easier and better to do it the other way around. I know it sounds like a cop-out but my advice would be, if it's as bad as you feel it is, that you concentrate on finding some kind of support/counselling that can help you with your self-esteem issues.

Don't worry, though, it's not uncommon to feel like you do. I know that's cold comfort though, at this stage, so sorry - but it WILL get better!

Good luck

Kate,

This comment of yours piqued my interest, "makes me feel like no one wants to listen to me, like i'm boring, not interesting"

Here's what I do whenever I get an overwhelming/negative/nervous/tense/etc feeling. I literally pull it out of my body. I imagine as if my hand is inside my body, and wherever I feel that negative emotion, usually the gut, it's pulling it all out so that i don't feel it anymore.

If that's a concept that you don't quite understand then try this: think about the last time you felt really good about yourself. Or, the last time you felt confident, happy, loved, or any positive emotion.

Doing so gives you a solid next step! Here's what I do and continue to do since as long as I can remember. I focus 100% on that feeling. What does it mean to feel "good and confident" to you? Where do you feel it? In your stomach? Chest? Shoulders? Heart? Do you see a picture? An image? Are you in the picture? Do you hear sounds? See colors? Do you feel anything?

And when you do have this sensation where is it? In other words, do you look up and to the left or right? Or is it next to you? Or is it below you? Where is the image?

The point of all of this is: by learning exactly what you think/feel/do in that moment you can teach your body to immediately feel that way whenever you want. You can feel good and confident about yourself whenever you want as long as you understand how to get your body in that state! You can, really! I do this all the time.

Learn to focus on THOSE emotions instead. That way, when your anxiety starts to come back on you, you'll better be able to handle, and dissolve it.

Toni Robbins' book from the 80's has a phenomenal exercise that I still use today.

I hope that helps.

Toni Robbins' book from the 80's has a phenomenal exercise that I still use today.


Sorry the book is called Unlimited Power. Check out Chap 7, The Syntax of Success.

Very good stuff!
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