i'm 17 years old, educated, girl. About a year ago i came back from a year abroad which did not in any way apply to my expectations. I was alone a lot, felt like my opinion did not matter and i was logistically not able to leave the house a lot. My host family was always working, the (also working) son in his 20s molested me, although it was 'only' through text messages my 15 year old self was disturbed. When i came back to my home country i was living in a bliss for a few weeks, found new friends, new hobbies, was (and still am) good at school. the thing is, i have moderate depression. I always tell myself that no one could understand me, that it's no use trying to tell anyone. I told my best guy friend, he was very helpful and supportive until he had a girlfriend and doesn't have time for me anymore, and one of my girl friends also knows but i regret telling her because she i doing exactely what i did not want to. She is telling me that she knows i am strong but she is still there for me and so on, and it's making me so upset, i dont know why. i know that i am strong, i am not struggeling with self hate at all, i have confidence and she knows that.
slowly we're geting to my point: she doesnt really know me, i dont like showing people who i really am, because this generation is so superficail and i dont think they would care or understand.
rationally i know that i should get help, go to a therapist, but empirical i just dont feel comfortable opening up, i still want to help myself, but it's not woking anymore.
sorry for this mess,
i appreciate any thoughts!