Hatred

Nick - wanted to respond here (but hit the wrong button)

http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic.php?p=3384#3384

i think the only way that u can get rid of ur hate is to just let it go and if u can try to forgive them if u can. thats what everyone tells me but i tried and it didnt work for me maybe its because my hate is so deap but maybe it will help u

Hi solution_seeker,

It's difficult to answer a broad question like that without more specific information.

One question though, why do you want to love someone who has persecuted you? Is that appropriate?

When we continue to feel hatred about things that have happened in the past, then it's as if it's not really in the past and affects us in the present. By feeling this way it's as if the other person has a hook in us. Forgiveness of the other person's behaviour allows us to unhook ourselves and move on.

Best wishes

That's very noble of you solution_seeker to want to forgive someone who has persecuted you. As Mike has just said, forgiveness in this way can be beneficial to you in order to move on.

I don't know if you've tried meditation, but here's the basic steps to a meditation which is used by the Friends of the Western Buddhist Order:

1. First of all you aim to create a feeling of love and compassion towards yourself, perhaps repeating the word 'i wish myself well'
2. Then you think of a close friend to spread this too,
3. Next spread this to someone you barely know, who you feel neutral towards,
4. After this to someone you have bad feeling about,
5. And then finally out to everyone and everything.
The important thing to being able to create this feeling is the thought that everyone is a living and breathing being who on some level have similar ambitions in life.

I hope this helps.

andy.

I've just found this meditation explained (perhaps better than me!) on the site:

http://www.fwbo.org/metta.html

andy.

solution seeker,
What does it feel like to hate someone. No matter how much people have hurt me I haven't been able to feel hatred towards them. I'm sorry if I'm sounding weird or anything, but I just want to understand. I don't understand how someone can hate someone else. It's so much energy and effort.
What caused this hate, if you don't mind my asking. And if you hate them, why do you want to love them? Does it make you feel better to hate them? Some days I think that if I could just come to hate the negative people in my life, it wouldn't hurt so much.
I know I'm not helping you and I'm sorry if I'm coming across selfish. I'm really not.
AiryLeigh