Smoking again doesn't help. Is this normal?

This all started when I discontinued my medication 3 years ago (ssri for social anxiety). I was still a heavy smoker at the time, but when the ssri withdrawal hit, weed was giving me panic attacks so I quit. I crashed into the deepest (and only) depression of my life soon after, and I attributed it to ssri withdrawal.

It took about a year and a half to start feeling a little better. Started being interested in things again (tv, games, etc), and I foolishly started smoking again. Felt good again, although not the same. I smoked from late 2019 to February 2021.

I decided to quit again due to relationship issues, and soon after I crashed again, similarly to when I first discontinued ssris and weed a year earlier. I immediately tried to start smoking again out of fear of being stuck like this for another year+, and to bring myself back to where I was.

The problem is, no matter how much I smoke, it just makes me feel worse now. I can't bring myself back to where I was just a few months ago. I seem to be stuck like this.

Has this happened to anyone else, where even if you smoke you can't stop the withdrawal? From what I read, smoking should stop it right away, but it makes me feel even more disconnected now...