I can't help myself

Hello, I am a 14 years old student. I've been having problems with my life lately or maybe its been 9 years. My parents keep on pushing me to study, i know it's because they love me, but they use way too many bad ways. I mean physically and psychologically. I do play video games but i control it, i control my habit of playing video games, not more than 2 hours. They use a belt just to make me go study, or they just say "Go you study you little retarded kid" i've been receiving those since i was third grader. It makes me really want to kill myself. Sometimes they just went to far by hitting me with their hands in the face so many times. My suicidal thoughts really came up when i graduated to junior highschool. I did graduated with a good score but they didn't even give me anything just a word "good". That's all! I expected good things will happen in the next couple years. But it didn't it gets worse and worse. I don't even have a friend to talk with this problem because i don't really have "friends" . My friends always ignore me after we graduated to a higher grade ( i mean like from 7 to 8 and they just ignore me after we are 8 ). Now my parents really hate me now. When i just talk a little my parents will just shout and shut my mouth. All i wanted to say is " you never understand me right? All you do is slap me and say im stupid, a dumbass, a piece of crap, useless. But you don't support me at all. What you do is only slap me and i get bad score in school, and you never check my good scores or even give me some clapping hands."