Welcome to UncommonForum tearfulheart. You write very eloquently and honestly about your situation. It sounds like depression has temporarily stolen your man from you - it sounds like depression talking from what you have written.
The worst thing about living with a depressed person is that while you feel you ought to be able to do something, those closest often have the hardest job. Classically, women living with depressed men blame themselves for not being able to help, as we have stated here:
http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/faq/friend.htm
It sounds to me like your man is incredibly lucky to have someone who will support him even after so long in depression, especially when he is refusing to get help. Perhaps reading the Learning Path will help him understand what is happening to him and give him hope.
The best of luck to you
Roger