What is wrong with me? If i am having a mid life crises

• I am 42 year old husband, married with 38 year old for happy 15 years but,
• Recently I start feeling insecure and possessive of my wife
• I used to be smart and handsome. I become too fat over last 15 years [173 CM, 250 lbs], start looking older than my age. I start hating my pictures, as it does not match my expectation how I want to look like. This silently reduce my self-confidence. I feel, I am ugly or at least not her match, I feel that she might not like to be with me. In fact, in my heart I feel that she deserve better.
• I am scared about my physical disparity with her. I am super fat. She is smart and slim. She is very modest in her dressing and does not expose herself to others, I feel threatened when she look very nice if we have company or when I see her photo on the facebook which I know other peoples also see. I go to the comments on her page and read though it to see if some male connection do any comments or if she is flirting with any one.
• She never give me any reason, but a thought stuck in my mind to keep a check upon her, what she is doing, what she is up to. We both know each other’s passwords and I lurk around her phone and photos. Never found anything and she is very clean in all the ways you can imagine. However, I feel urges to try to find out dirt, which I know is not there. I fear I will destroy what I have if she know that I am spying on her. I want to trust her 100%, but something in me ask to do otherwise
• On occasions, I show my distaste of her taking many pics. She think I am annoyed by the frequency of pics, but I do not like my photo in fact.
• She is the one and only woman I ever been. I do not want to burden her but I feel sad / angry when she go out for timeout with her friends for coffee or lunch, etc.
• I never was a party animal, but I used to have close friends. I used to be social on family level and on facebook. I am not able to understand why, but I stop enjoying company of other peoples or friend. I feel bored, unfit, uninterested and wasting my time when I meet peoples in big gatherings and sometime even with my old friends. My facebook account is still alive but I don’t use it unless I try to see about her.
• I enjoy my me time with my kids and my wife and expect her to do the same. If she want to spend time with her lady friends while I am home, I feel bad / angry, etc. She know I don’t like her so she meet with her friends very less.
• I tried to touch and connect with her more due to my insecurities as listed about. I am afraid that I am too much attached to her and need her attention, which will stifled and suffocate her.
• We have three kids and spend most of the dinners together, we watch TV together, and I love every second of our company. But the evil thoughts / doubts that she will leave me or cheat on me keep coming to my mind
• We are financially safe and sound and no issue on this fornt
• We are sexually active [3~4 time a week] and both enjoy it to the same level. But I love porn and like to masturbate the nights we don’t do it. She knows and I know that she know.
• I continuously try to be fit, exercise and loss weight. Once I lose 35 pound by exercise and diet during one-year time however, it came back after one year once I stop dieting. Although I like when my size reduce from XXL to Large, I did not feel good a single day about my food and healthy lifestyle. I love to eat big and fitness lifestyle (eat clean and less) make me sad. I love running and weights but never able to like to eat less and healthy. I do gym / running 5 days a week when I am active and walking and jogging 2~3 days a week when I am not. She is on the contrast follow strict

I know that you will think I have an ideal life partner and what is wrong with me. Believe me I am looking for the same answer, what is wrong with me. I need you to advise me on the following

1. What is wrong with me? Is this is a mid-life Crisis
2. Do I need to see a shrink
3. Should I come clean, tell her everything, and try to find a solution together. I strongly believe that she will be shocked or sad and I don’t want this
4. I want to trust her and want to feel safe about it. I pretend that I do, but feel insecure on the first test. Why