by Cést la vie » Wed Mar 03, 2010 3:29 am
Hi, usually bulimia is a conflict of polar opposites that have the same purpose, but different ways to achieve the purpose. The purpose is to make you safe (prevent you from dying). One part wants you to be thin and therefore acceptable (making you feel safe). This part sees obesity as ending in rejection and the spiralling feelings magnifying until one can't cope and therefore cannot live. The other part wants you to be protected and insulated and to eat to feel good and comfortable (safe). When you are eating the 2nd part feels satisfied and in control, whist the 1st part is agitated and in danger, out of control. The pain associated with these feelings gives it power and it comes to the fore and takes over control and so you vomit etc. It is like a see saw, back and forth, each part asserting its power in the cycle. The common thread is one of an underlying sense of having no control of ones life and the two parts fight over control of one function other people cannot control that is - eating.
The cure is in enabling each part to experience the state of the other part and hence to realise they are after the same objective and to be friends rather than enemies.
One practical tip I can give you is when you feel stressed or having your bulimic feelings/tendencies is to say to yourself "I am safe". This quells that part of the brain that initiates the fight/flight response, this response triggers the two parts into action. By realising there is no real physical danger present and saying "I am safe' you will become in control of your situation.
The emotional need of safety is unfortunately not met satisfactorily for many people. This need is one of our very first emotional needs and needs to be nourished very ealy in life. If it is not than other emotional needs tend not to be met properly. A deep sense of vulnerablity permeates though these other needs. Once again, 'Iam safe' will have wonderful repercussions.
Cheers