Bullsh!t in the workplace

Realistically you have two options:

A. you find a different workplace in the hope you will find it more enjoyable;
B. you work on resolving the issues in your current workplace.

Option A is pretty much straightforward.

If you decide to stay, figure out what angers you about this "kid". Is it that he's now your supervisor? Is it his unprofessional attitude? When figure you out what's bugging you about him, you can then deal with it.

Can i suggest that him addressing you with swear words and insulting you could possibly be considered a verbal attack, but that's beside the point.

It is unprofessional and demeaning the way the he addressed you in that particular situation. I would imagine that any employer should take it seriously. Now, i see you have very little faith in your hr managers, but if you want to resolve your situation, you have to play by the rules. First, i would respectfully approach the supervisor and have a civilised conversation with him about his approach towards you. Be calm, friendly, and confident. Have a witness. Hopefully that will put your supervisor back in his place. If he tries to waggle out of responsibility, you might have to consider getting in touch with his direct superior to explain the situation. What is the grievance procedure? Find out and use it to your advantage. Always have a reliable witness, but find out who can be a legitimate witness. Basically, employers tend to use and abuse staff, but if they get the sense that you know your rights and obligations towards them and their rights and obligations towards you, and that you respect both them and yourself, they should start to take you seriously. I mean, what employer wants to get sued by an employee whose rights were breached if indeed they were.

The trick to remember is to stay calm and collected at all times as the second you show your anger or upset, you've lost your battle.

Ah, theforsaken, good to see you back although I'm sorry it's because you're as angry as ever.

F**k waiting around to die,
When all my life I've been dead inside,
I am your enemy now,
And you will never take me down.

Why have you "been dead inside" all your life? Do you know?

No one can be hair-trigger set to see the world as their enemy and expect to feel good about life.

Candid wrote:Ah, theforsaken, good to see you back although I'm sorry it's because you're as angry as ever.

F**k waiting around to die,
When all my life I've been dead inside,
I am your enemy now,
And you will never take me down.

Why have you "been dead inside" all your life? Do you know?

No one can be hair-trigger set to see the world as their enemy and expect to feel good about life.

My signature. It's actually just lyrics to a song I really like at the moment. I can see how it can relate to what I've posted lately. but that wasn't what I was relating it to when I wrote it,

When I wrote it I was thinking about how I maybe should, and am gonna, take what is possibly a bit of a crazy risk in a different area of my life. You never know unless you try and you only live one short life. It could fail but at least I could say I tried. I fought, instead of waiting around to die and remaining dead inside, that's the significance of it.

Candid wrote:Ah, theforsaken, good to see you back although I'm sorry it's because you're as angry as ever.

F**k waiting around to die,
When all my life I've been dead inside,
I am your enemy now,
And you will never take me down.

Why have you "been dead inside" all your life? Do you know?

No one can be hair-trigger set to see the world as their enemy and expect to feel good about life.

The "dead inside" part relates I guess to how I grew up through my teens etc and to some extent now too, I've never felt like people genuinely care about me, if I died tomorrow I could count on 2 hands the amount of people who would show up at the funeral for me, anyone else would just be there to support them, or to feel like heros.
The downside of being an introvert I guess, no one loves you. you're either an idiot or an arshole as far as the world is concerned.
That's also where I can relate to the "I am your enemy now, you will never take me down", I'm saying life will not beat me. it hasn't yet and it won't now.

WonderGurl wrote:Realistically you have two options:

A. you find a different workplace in the hope you will find it more enjoyable;
B. you work on resolving the issues in your current workplace.

Option A is pretty much straightforward.

If you decide to stay, figure out what angers you about this "kid". Is it that he's now your supervisor? Is it his unprofessional attitude? When figure you out what's bugging you about him, you can then deal with it.

Can i suggest that him addressing you with swear words and insulting you could possibly be considered a verbal attack, but that's beside the point.

It is unprofessional and demeaning the way the he addressed you in that particular situation. I would imagine that any employer should take it seriously. Now, i see you have very little faith in your hr managers, but if you want to resolve your situation, you have to play by the rules. First, i would respectfully approach the supervisor and have a civilised conversation with him about his approach towards you. Be calm, friendly, and confident. Have a witness. Hopefully that will put your supervisor back in his place. If he tries to waggle out of responsibility, you might have to consider getting in touch with his direct superior to explain the situation. What is the grievance procedure? Find out and use it to your advantage. Always have a reliable witness, but find out who can be a legitimate witness. Basically, employers tend to use and abuse staff, but if they get the sense that you know your rights and obligations towards them and their rights and obligations towards you, and that you respect both them and yourself, they should start to take you seriously. I mean, what employer wants to get sued by an employee whose rights were breached if indeed they were.

The trick to remember is to stay calm and collected at all times as the second you show your anger or upset, you've lost your battle.

A new job would be ideal, maybe, but where I work while it does f*cking suck, the money is really good. And where I live there's really not a lot else available.

And what angers me about this "kid" (I say kid because I think he's 20 or 21, I'm 27) But I don't care that he's my supervisor, that's not the problem. The problem is the way he speaks to me basically, it sounds pathetic reading it back to myself, but it doesn't matter what your position or your age is, if you talk to me like I'm a f*cking idiot, my blood will boil. I don't like it at all.

Actually I'm not sure which one it is, since he got his white hat he thinks it's okay to talk to me like sh**, or since my brother who used to work with me who can be pretty scary is gone now, he thinks it's okay to talk to me like sh**. maybe I should be scarier. I dunno.


the managers and HR guys are sh** too, here's another story. a bit over a year ago now the manager saw me and a friend messing around throwing bits of fat/meat at each other (I admit, it was stupid, I know) and I got sent to the HR office, almost got fired. I ended up getting 2 weeks unpaid suspension.
and that would be fair, you know? I got caught doing something stupid. Fair enough. BUT. here's the thing.
Since then, I've seen the same manager catch numerous other people doing the exact same thing. Guess what happened? absolutely nothing... not even a verbal warning..

There was another time I fell completely not my fault and almost smashed my leg almost breaking it, it bruised and swelled to about the size of a football in my shin, and the HR guy came and tried to make me stay at work... without seeing a doctor or anything like that, I ended up getting to go home though but it was a f***ing hassle.. when it shouldn't have been. people can say to the supervisor they need to go home cause they have a head ache or they're tired and they can go and it's never a problem. I never do that.. the one time I wanna go home early is a pretty legit reason I think.. the whole MASSIVE swollen leg that feels like it's gonna burst and everything. and my knee on the other leg was pretty banged up too.. and it's "oh nah you can't just go home cause of that mate.. sorry, but you can't do that".


Just all this collective sh!t all together, everything makes me have no faith at all. I don't believe HR or managers would help me with this thing with the supervisor. I have to either quit or find a way to deal with it myself that won't get me in trouble.

theforsaken wrote:Hey dudes, I haven't been here for a long while. I decided this is probly a better place to rant than facebook so here goes.

I'm getting really f*cking tired of work, and I'm developing a deep, deep hatred for a select couple of individuals.
there's this one kid (I think he's about 20 or 21) who came and started working where I work a long while ago now, I remember I was working my way up to become, we will say one of the better, highest payed workers in the place, an "A grader".
I remember teaching this guy one of the simple labour jobs right before I moved up to B grade, then worked with him on B grade when he got up there, and I eventually got to A grade and he followed, I found him a bit annoying sometimes but never had any real problems with him,
eventually he was on A grade for a short while, then he decided to become a supervisor. Ever since he became one of the supervisors he's turned into more and more of a cocksucker (at least toward me) each day.

Whenever he asks me a question or there's some kind of problem, even if it's not mty fault, he speaks to me like I'm a f*cking idiot, and I don't like it or appreciate it one bit, but at the same time I don't wanna cause problems and have him f*ck up time I booked off in the office or whatever.

eg. the other day I walked over some garbage because it was the quickest way to get where I was going and no one was sweeping or cleaning it yet, this guy comes along and goes "did you have to f*ckin walk through it?" and shook his head and said "f*cking stupid.." I said "what's the problem?" ready to confront him about it and he just goes "get out of the way".

There's another random a**hole that's like this aswell, just complaining when there's no real need or reason for it. It pisses me the f*ck right off, I just end up seething with anger for the next few hours. what can I do?

I'll note that all the HR and managers are f*cking arsholes aswell, ony interested in the well being of themselves and their friends.

People will vent to those who seem willing to take this behavior without a complaint. You are being timid and to involved in their process. Make yourself uninvolved and preoccupied around them without jeopardizing your work performance.
If you improve your personal life and make it more enjoyable, you'll find yourself focusing less on these minor work issues.
Regards McCain

McCain wrote:

theforsaken wrote:Hey dudes, I haven't been here for a long while. I decided this is probly a better place to rant than facebook so here goes.

I'm getting really f*cking tired of work, and I'm developing a deep, deep hatred for a select couple of individuals.
there's this one kid (I think he's about 20 or 21) who came and started working where I work a long while ago now, I remember I was working my way up to become, we will say one of the better, highest payed workers in the place, an "A grader".
I remember teaching this guy one of the simple labour jobs right before I moved up to B grade, then worked with him on B grade when he got up there, and I eventually got to A grade and he followed, I found him a bit annoying sometimes but never had any real problems with him,
eventually he was on A grade for a short while, then he decided to become a supervisor. Ever since he became one of the supervisors he's turned into more and more of a cocksucker (at least toward me) each day.

Whenever he asks me a question or there's some kind of problem, even if it's not mty fault, he speaks to me like I'm a f*cking idiot, and I don't like it or appreciate it one bit, but at the same time I don't wanna cause problems and have him f*ck up time I booked off in the office or whatever.

eg. the other day I walked over some garbage because it was the quickest way to get where I was going and no one was sweeping or cleaning it yet, this guy comes along and goes "did you have to f*ckin walk through it?" and shook his head and said "f*cking stupid.." I said "what's the problem?" ready to confront him about it and he just goes "get out of the way".

There's another random a**hole that's like this aswell, just complaining when there's no real need or reason for it. It pisses me the f*ck right off, I just end up seething with anger for the next few hours. what can I do?

I'll note that all the HR and managers are f*cking arsholes aswell, ony interested in the well being of themselves and their friends.

People will vent to those who seem willing to take this behavior without a complaint. You are being timid and to involved in their process. Make yourself uninvolved and preoccupied around them without jeopardizing your work performance.
If you improve your personal life and make it more enjoyable, you'll find yourself focusing less on these minor work issues.
Regards McCain

That's part of the plan dude, but it's hard when you're there 5 of the 7 week days.. and only get 2 of the 7 to yourself. you see these assholes WAY more than you care to.

Look at it this way, only 1/3 of each workday is actually around them. Make the most out of your day still. Get involved in something outside of work that gives you inner strength. If you go to work each day and have nothing to look forward to afterwards, you'll tend to focus back on work because nothing else is stimulating you.
McCain

Well said McCain, find stuff outside work that makes work seem as irrelevant as possible.

One thing a friend said to me recently which made perfect sense which might put things into a little perspective as well:
HR do not exist to look after the employee they are there to look after the employer and try to stop them being sued!
HR people will strongly disagree but every experience I have had with any HR department anywhere supports this theory.
What this means for you is that improvements will only come from you. You need to either change the relationship you have with this guy or change the way you react to this guy.

You could also drop a few hints about him being too good for this job and see if he goes elsewhere.

Try and take the positive path, us introverts are usually pretty bad a the negative stuff.

Ok wow does this sort of situation sound familiar. OK why are you at this place? If its not a long term thing. whats your plan whilst you are there? Maybe just to earn money to pay the bills or until you have saved some cash? Unfortunately these situations can happen. Its survival of the fittest. Its sounds like you were protected while your brother was there but now you're easy meat. I would start studying assertiveness. Reacting in the moment appropriately, this will save you much heartache and give you an easier life. Here's an example. This guy says "did you have to f*ckin walk through it?" and then says "f*cking stupid.." Your first reaction should be "Don't f***ing talk to me like that!!" The thing is, there are some conflicting emotions that are stopping you from responding assertively such as Shock, Fear and self doubt. And then you make the mistake of beating yourself up about it afterwards and needlessly being angry. Its better not to do that and instead view the whole process as a learning experience. Next, although it would be great if everyone behaved nice to each other in the work place, sometimes it doesn't happen that way. And its out and out warfare. Make no mistake, your probably viewed as a threat. And people will happily, purposely work to undermine your confidence and self esteem to neutralize you. You need allies. Just as if you were in prison. You should be working to build alliances with others to protect yourself and working on building relationships with people within the company in a higher position than you and this kid. You mention that when you mess about you punished and when its others, its let slide. This is another example of you being seen as a threat or someone with brains therefore potentially a threat. Dont waste time worrying about it. Accept it, thats life. If you were not seen as a threat it or you were friends with the bosses it wouldn't happen. Take it as a compliment. Concentrate your efforts on working to create the kind of environment you want around you. You have to be willing to play the game in order to survive and thrive. First step assertiveness and boundaries. If you are too confused to reply in the moment don't dwell on it collect your thoughts find out the first thing that bothered you, so in this case you would find the kid and say "Excuse me "Kid" The way you have just spoken to me is unacceptable, dont talk to me like that again." you could insert f***ing its up to you. Good luck!

theforsaken wrote:Since then, I've seen the same manager catch numerous other people doing the exact same thing. Guess what happened? absolutely nothing... not even a verbal warning..

Maybe these other people are taking turns at sucking on some body part of his.

Beloved wrote:

theforsaken wrote:Since then, I've seen the same manager catch numerous other people doing the exact same thing. Guess what happened? absolutely nothing... not even a verbal warning..

Maybe these other people are taking turns at sucking on some body part of his.

lol Yeah that was my first thought.

One of the HR guys is a real a**hole, and he's a big fat dude with a face like a pug.
we heard he's known the owner and his son (who is now the CEO) forever, so we always joke that he gives them that same kind of favour lol.
He got where he is by living his whole life as a f*ckin brown noser.

sounds familiar to the dean and deluca I worked at. I got a new job and felt so relieved afterwards, sometimes you have to make change to feel better