Cry and cry for nothing

Hi Funkasushi

Welcome to the forum and I am sorry to hear you are having a tough time.

I have a similar problem of crying when in certain situations. For example, I have quite a difficult relationship with my Dad. He has always criticised me from when I was a child, and even now that I'm an adult he will do the same. If he gets angry with me and starts shouting I will react by crying when I really want to stand up to him and defend myself. This also happens in other situations, usually with authority figures.

Your reaction of crying seem to be out of frustration because you are not able or not willing to verbally express how you are feeling in the situations with you boss, your boyfriend or your mother.

Have you always had the same reaction in these situations? What do you think is preventing you from being able to be assertive with these people?

The articles on Low Self Esteem could be helpful to you. Have a read through these and let us know what you think.

Briary

Thanks for your reply.

I agree with you that the frustration makes me cry and I really would like to control that,

I remember times when that happens and It feels like I am dissapointed in myself. like a self pity. I really want to stop and be more confident.

I will read that article.

i used to be the same way...crying when i should have stuck up for myself. it comes from not knowing how. you need help learning how to be assertive .get help before you snap and it eventually turns into an anger problem. i never was taught how to stick up for my self. i would littaraly get my but kicked home from school every day. my mom would say..summer be the bigger person and keep walking away. doesnt work. i have serious anger issues i work on and am still learning how to assert myself in situations..maybe you could join a free support group?

were you taking any meds?

no, no meds, not till years after that, and none at the present time. i'm weary about medication. i have a close friend and ive watched her go through 3 different kinds and its done alot of damage more than good. shes gotten sick, her sex life is pretty well...to say frusterating in the least. i cant see how anti depressions meds that affect your sex life help. i dont know about you but if i went through what some do taking those kinds of meds( you know what im talkin about) id be more irritated then before!!! But i can tell you this is my first day accepting the fact that i have a serious anger managment problem...and im open to help.

jeesh, i sure hope you were talkin' to me or i'll feel like an backside.

oh no, it was for everyone here really. and for future people too. See, sometimes people stop taking their meds and they don't think the effect will be significant. Sometimes how one stops their meds is Very Very significant.

Well, i've never taken meds...I mean i never thought it was a problem. I think that when I cry out of frustration in front of my bf or family or even friends, I think they see me as a crybaby, like an emotional rollercoaster. After a while noone takes me serious, cause they're like..."awww here we go with the crying..bla bla.." Nobody has ever suggested meds.[/i]

HI Funkasushi,

I actually cry in situations very similar to yours. I didn't use to do it and actually felt as if I had more power and didn't take crap from anyone. My good friend of over 15 years told me I was mean and angry all the time. In the last few years I talked with my physician and decided to go on medication for depression. My mother has been on medication since I was little and one of my sisters is bipolar. I grew up in a depressed family with a mom who didn't really care too much about our well being or so I felt and really pushed that attitude of sadness on us. We all took it upon ourselves to react differently. I am the oldest and chose to take the same approach my mother did (even though we are like oil and water) which is to cry when I am in situations of stress, anxiety, meeting with a boss where I no longer feel in control. I don't like to do it but I don't know how to stop. It is embarrassing which I think makes me even more angry at myself which causes me to cry more. I also do NOT like compliments and never have but really hate critizism.

what can I do? help.
mel126