15 year old step son

Hi Healthwoman

There are only three and half years between my three kids. At one time, I had three bolshy teenagers all under one roof, and I remember how at times there were a clash of egos (includng mine!) all at once! I think I coped with the terrible twos far easier.

Anyway, shouting back I found only ever exacerbated the situation, where I did make progress was appealing to reason when the storm had blown over and sitting and having a chat then and asking them to reflect back on their behaviour and quite importantly - to try and get them to realise the affect their unreasonable behaviour had on the rest of the family. Nevertheless, he will probably 'loose it' again, its all part of the process I suppose, but at the same time, he must know that there will be sanctions and consequences if he oversteps the mark in a big way. Its a good idea to think of reasonable sanctions and more importantly to stick to them. Teenagers can be quite manipulative and will immediately sense a chink in your armour.

Keep working at the good times too - when you can be friends and share things together and treat him as an adult and listen to his point of view and what he feels about things. These close times you can cultivate and they will cushion the inevitable temper outbursts and clashes!

I had a stepmother that was anything but caring and supportive, I think these boys are lucky to have your care and support

Thank you Megan for the sound advice. I do find things go smoother when I appeal to the 'adult' in him. I am very lucky to have step sons that both have a good sense of humor as I do.