I really hate my parents. Obviously this is the most awkward start of a topic, but it is true. I feel like hurting them with the most painful way ever. I might sound like a madman. I will let you know why I feel so.
My mother was a teacher, that makes me a target every time I don't get the first place in academics. I have faced real abusive behaviour (Running naked in front of my friends, getting lashes with belt till my skin wilted off, chilies in my eyes and burns). All of these because I am not first. I don't want to be first in studies. But that's not a concern at all. All they wanted was their pride of having a child who comes first. I started writing poems and stories since I was in 6th standard. My parents never ever read it. I had to burn them all only because I didn't score first in my English and Hindi language. I wanted to die that day.
As I grew up, I started getting interested in sports (without my parents knowledge of course). I won my first gold medal in high jump and a bronze in karate. Went home with a sense of pride that I have actually won something. I faced the worst sarcasm that day. My mom saw my medals and asked me why wasn't I in the class and why did I go to the playground? I literally wanted to die that day and even cut myself in my wrist. But my friends saw that and saved me. After this my parents git some counseling from the doctor who said that their way of parenting is wrong. I felt like I have finally won the battle and from now on I will be seeing a change. My wishes went dry when we came back home. My father asked me why I complained about their behaviour to a 3rd person. Adding to it my mom started abusing saying my character is now to be questioned. Wetting my pillows with tears, I lived all these years. Now I am married and am expecting a child. Again their influence has started. I fear another person with this mental sickness should not roam this world. I really want to hurt them so that they don't come into my life again. I have been killed multiple times by them. I don't want my child to be treated like this.
I feel painful when I confront them with their behaviour and the damage they have done, and they start to play the victim. Comparing me with all around, they have already killed me. I don't want to die again. I know they will hurt my child if they are around. I want to save my child from these demons. I want to hurt them so much that they never come into my life again.