Public speaking and PTSD

Admittedly, I get stage fright. I (logically) assume this is more from the "idea" of failing in public view, which doesn't ever occur - nonetheless, until I am actually speaking the fear is always there.

Truth be told, I once had 800 admirals, generals, and every other military rank to provide the parameters of a large scale exercise. Before getting up to the podium I was sweating so bad, my contact lenses fogged up and couldn't see one word of my 30 minute exercise overview.

I had to adlib the whole thing.

Now realizing the grave situation I was in -- it seems that a switch comes on that makes me take action. This ended up being one of the best public speaking engagements I every did.

Doesn't make it any easier though -- the next time.

Agreed fathom, there's little more scary than the idea of failing in front of your peers - hence the 'logical' link between public speaking and fear.

But of course, usually the fear reaction far outweighs the actual danger - virtually no physical danger, and actually often very little danger of humiliation because virtually everyone can identify with stagefright and few would blame you for it.

It could be argued that there is also a more basic reason for public speaking fear, which is that large crowds are actually dangerous, and so we may be 'primed' to be more on alert in such situations.

Your mention of a 'switch' that comes on to make you take action is interesting.

Only around 20% of people who experience a traumatic event go on to develop Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD). Those who respond to extreme stress by focusing outwards and acting are much less likely to 'freeze' and suffer post-traumatic consequences later.

Seems you're just the sort of guy you need on your side when the going gets tough

Roger

RogerE wrote:Seems you're just the sort of guy you need on your side when the going gets tough

Ya but only after 20 cups of coffee please, I just don't function at peak performance when I wake up!

All this brings back memories although thankfully not flash backs of an acute panic attack I suffered some years ago just prior to a public speaking engagement. I had presented a few times before but had never expereinced anything like the intensity of fear previously. It seems for some reason my fight or flight decided to kick in with a vengeance that day (I just hope it obliges when I really need it ). After that memories of that occasion were producing feelings of intense fear. Not only that but now, because of the very fast learning the emotional mind does, I was dreading my next presentation.

Fortunately I wa familiar and adequately skilled in the use of the Rewind Technique and so used it on myelf to totally de-condition that particular traumatic memory. In the years since doing this for myself I have noticed that I just can't seem to get anxious at all regardless of audience numbers. It seems that we can overcome an old limitation by creating a new what I call a 'happy limitaion' by not being able to become overly anxious any more even if we wanted to.

However I like to feel some level of tension just prior to speaking as the right degree seems to tip me over into flow.......but all you budding presenters out there get going because if someone who was as scared as me can becoming supremely comfortable then so can you

mark tyrrell wrote:However I like to feel some level of tension just prior to speaking as the right degree seems to tip me over into flow.......

hmmm... I guess it does feel kinda cool!

Hi

I was really pleased to find such a helpful and encouraging forum and thought I'd share my experience so that I might be guided as to sources of help and hopefully hear from others who are as determined as me to cure their panic attacks.

I work in a job that requires me to frequently present in front of colleagues or clients and this has always made me nervous, but no more so than most people do in similar situations I suspect. Most of my colleagues would describe me as outgoing and/or a leader and invariably in any group situation, training course or whatever I will be the one most often asked to come up and share my thoughts, present to the team etc etc.

About two years ago, I sat in a meeting with colleagues, all of whom I knew well, and was asked to give them a two minute update on a couple of client issues. I started to speak and within seconds had a burning feeling start to move up from my toes all the way to my head, followed by a completely unreal feeling of being totally unaware of what I was saying and then an inability to say anything at all coupled with dizziness and all round panic! I managed to stay in the room (just) and as time went by managed to pull it all together again. What everyone else must have thought I don't know but they never said anything to me afterwards which was a blessing.

So, my first panic attack had occurred and, now that I have read around the subject, the months following the attack seem to have followed the accepted pattern. Two more utterly awful experiences immediately prior to walking up the podium to speak to (again) a small and well known audience and what I feel have been two wasted years spent worring about each time I will be required to speak again in public. Even just raising my hand to ask a question in a meeting has proved impossible on a couple of occassions.

I have endeavoured not to take this lying down and have read up as much as I can to try and rationalise what has happened. The causes seem well documented and relate well to my situation: first attack came at a time of high stress, I appear hugely confident in public but in reality suffer from severe lack of confidence and self esteem and mask it well, etc. I should also point out that my mother's life has been dominated (and ruined) by acute panic attacks and depression for as long as I can remember and that my sister is also experiencing problems.

The panicy feelings have spread to train journeys and also plane journeys but I seem to be able to keep these under control with significant (and exhausting) degrees of effort.

I am proud that I have not given in to the attacks and have managed to deliver every talk, attend every meeting etc even when I have been absolutely petrified, on more than one occassion I have had to leave the room immediately before a talk and sit in a room on my own trying to get my breathing into balance and control my trembling hands. My talks have been delivered with the aid of a script on all recent occassions, bad way to do talks I know but better that than trying to remember my lines at a time when trying to remember anything is so difficult given the effort I put in to controlling the attacks.

I am now however at a crossroads. I am simply not prepared to waste my life away worrying so acutely about future speaking engagements. As an example, and I am embarrased to admit this, I wept in front of my wife last week, having got my self so wound up about a series of client presentations I am required to give several WEEKS from now... enough is enough.

I appear to have two choices:

1. Give up my career and try a job that doesn't require me to present to people. VERY attractive the way I feel at the moment but a huge waste given how much effort it has taken to get to this stage in my career and I have a young family to support. Also, I suspect this is really running away from the problem and it will resurface somewhere else.

2. Sort the problem out asap. My preferred option.

There is a lot of confusing information out there. I have given up alcohol - I have also got myself even fitter than I was- hopefully this is all helping in some way. It is also true that I am currently not hugely comfortable in my job but I refuse to believe (as some have suggested) that simply changing job will sort the problem out.

I have discussed my problem with close relatives, all of whom are supportive but never broached the subject with work colleagues. I have also avoided the GP, as with my family's history I haven't seen evidence that this route leads to success.

I realise this is a bit rambling but hopefully there are others reading this who know they aren't alone. I feel that this goes so much deeper than simply nervousness of public speaking as some might suggest, however well intentioned.

I would love to hear about possible solutions and of any contacts in Central Scotland area who might be able to help with counselling (assuming this is required). I'd certainly be a willing and very motivated patient!

Hi andy12

Welcome to the forum, and thanks for such a clear post.

It sounds like you have been doing everything right, and are suffering post-traumatic effects from the first panic attack. The good news is, this is usually easily treated (with the right apporach), and you sound like the perfect client!

I treated a guy not long ago who owned his own company and was at the time raising funding, so he had to do a lot of public presenting. He was pretty confident otherwise and so couldn't work out why he was having such a bad time, other than the fact that he had had an awful time doing a speech when he was 14.

Like yourself, this event had caused a pattern match to occur in later similar situations, triggering high anxiety again. It was a simple matter to 'decondition' the original event and a few subsequent ones, and to use a bit of relaxation for rehearse a better public speaking experience.

Happy to say, he is now loving public speaking, and even enjoyed speaking at his sister's wedding, which he had been dreading.

So there is plenty of hope Andy! I would suggest you check this list here:
http://www.humangivens.com/register/main.html

These therapists should be trained in the sort of techniques you need, but be sure to check them out on the phone first - maybe phone 3 and interview them to see who sounds the most sensible

Best of luck

Roger

Roger

Many thanks for these contacts. I will let you (and everyone else) know how I get on!

Andy,

the main point that stuck out to me in your story was the assumption at the end that you 'feel that this goes so much deeper than simply nervousness of public speaking as some might suggest, however well intentioned.'

This is a fair and common assumption to have given the power of those feelings. I appreciate it can be quite annoying when the well intentioned say, its just because of this or that. However it is not necessarily the case tha there is great depth to this - there does not and is probably not any depth to this other than some kind of protective mechanism that goes right ahead and does it's job when you think about public speaking. It is possibly just trying to protect you from it all going pear shaped in the meeting that day. Take Roger's advice, decondition that inital event and watch that response change.

I treat many of my clients for phobias and fears similar to the one you have described. Often they have suffered with a problem that has held them back for years and assumed that change will be long and arduous. If they chance upon a certain kind of therapist it may well be. However, there are established methods of dealing with exactly the kind of response you have described very quickly, not as soon as they would have liked but far more quickly than they could have expected. It is rarely necessary to get into deep rooted memories or any issues of depth. In fact making that change can be quite swift, easy and painless to do.

Find yourself a therapist in Scotland who has had success treating such issues with a rapid approach and see what happens. Good luck I am sure you will do it, as Roger pointed out you sound like the ideal client, your willingness to change is at level maximum, hopefully you can raise your expectancy to get back to functioning how you know you can to a similar level soon. Good luck...

Ant

Ant

Many thanks for the words of encouragement. I suppose the comment about "going far deeper than nervousness" WAS to counteract the common response of "well pull yourself together, its only public speaking and everyone is nervous when they do this". Its really interesting from reading your own thoughts and Roger's thoughts that while its a huge issue in my life it perhaps doesn't go that deep. The more one reads about panic attacks and possible cures the greater is the temptation to look much deeper for the problem.

I really hope that one of the therapists on the list Roger provided can help decondition the problem - I'll look forward to letting you know.

Thanks again

I have written about an other aspect of public speaking at:

http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic. ... 0584#10584