A dilemma

Hi Vijay

I'm very pleased you gained so much from Roger's self confidence course! Ideally it would be wonderful for you to regain your love of learning. Sounds like you were more relaxed about learning when you were twelve, therefore you would have thought about it less consciously, therefroe, yes, it would have been more of an unconscious activity.

The best thing would be for you to continue your studies feeling much much better and more relaxed. Your father has said that you don't have to study and that has taken the pressure off, imagine being able to complete your qualifications whilst feeling much less pressured! This would build your general levels of confidence as you'll always have the knowledge that you triumphed over something you at first found hard.

You need to re-associate, in your mind the activity and environment of learning at university to feelings of calm, focus and confidence. The more you relax and think about where you learn and what you learn the more the beneficial feelings are going to become linked to learning and the more confident you are going to feel.....instinctively.

If and when you get the self confidence cd you'll find that it can help you

feel different about your studies so you don't have to think about them so much.

All the best

Mark

Thanks for your suggestios .But you're forgetting the fact that the old memmories I get when I see my college peers or even when I enter the college.And even worse I couldn't read the books which are related to my college course.I think it is better to quit the college even though there is only 4 months to go.Please tell me What do you think about this?

Hi Vijay,

It sounds like you have done really well to get this far with your engineering degree, and overcoming the problems you have had. I did an engineering degree too, and the pressures in your final year can get overwhelming at times, however giving up on your studies now that you are so close to finishing seems like the wrong option for you.

I absolutely support Mark's advice about retraining yourself to become relaxed, calm and confident in the situations that are causing you difficulties. I suspect you may have some highly developed analytical skills from your engineering training, so how about using these skills to come up with some creative solutions for yourself. Breaking down the problem areas into more manageable "chunks" will help in allowing you to come up with solutions. List your problem areas and beside them write down at least 3 different ways you could solve the problem.

For example, you said you don't like studying in the college - where else could you go? Is there a non college library or quiet place that you could use? Does a relative have a spare room you could go to?

As to returning blank exam papers - you must have completed some exams in your time to be in the position you are in now? So what was happening when you filled in exam papers and got good grades? Can you replicate this? This may seem kind of odd, but I used to mentally practice doing exams at least 2 months before the exam..... Of course I studied the lecture notes, read the books, and did past papers, but I also worked on being mentally ready to do the exam. I figured out the timing for the exam which normally started with a few minutes to calm myself down using breathing techniques, and how much time I had for each question etc etc. Sportsmen may call this their game plan or strategy. So figure out your game plan for exams, and you'll find that you are better prepared mentally for the exam. All of this preparation increases the spare mental capacity that you need to cope with the unexpected.

I hope that you surprise yourself and finish off that degree. Your career does not have to follow on from your degree, so think afresh when you have got through this period of your life.

Good luck

Lyndsay
(PS I got a first, so some of this must have worked!)