Discarded by Mom

Is my mother narcissistic? I have been thinking about this lately because of how she discarded me. I have been depressed and having anxiety attacks for almost 5 months now, and I believe she knows and hears it, but she doesnt care. She eats and sleeps well. We are 5 children in the family, and I am the 2nd. Growing up, I feel like i had to keep a strong facade but deep inside I felt lost and alone. I was avoidant when it comes to relationships with other people, noticed that I couldnt form general close bonds with others, only to those that need me. Then as I understand things, I got to know that my feeling of being lost, alone and resentful is because my mom is emotionally unavailable. Plus the fact my parents were mostly on silent treatment with each other. That's how we grew up. She's the type of mother who gives too much freedom, she wont call to ask where you are, and no bonding communication. So after college, I had the realization that I needed to put in effort to really bond with her and be close to her. I pampered her, massaged her, served her, etc. I admit that I can be sensitive, such as when she would keep nagging about water drips on the kitchen floor, and I said of course I am cooking thats why... and that why does she always notice those that I do, but never even asked my youngest sister to even wash her own dishes. So we had these fights but would eventually reconcile. A few months ago, we had argument about a rejective behavior she has, and i didnt talk with her cause she only said sorry because she needed something. Then suddenly, she began excluding me, from food, when ordering food, totally ignored, discarded me. and so i got angry at first, then depressed. Now, she's beginning to be totally close with my youngest sister, a selfish brat. They go out together, when before, we would usually be the ones to do so. I am totally outcasted and treated as if I dont exist. I went on youtube to read up and understand all these, and came to know about the term "Narcissist". I am confused because some say a trait a narcissist has is that he/she wants validation and attention... which i also do want because i have been longing for a mother who will support me emotionally. It also says narcissist can use silent treatment, which i do sometimes because of anger, i would prefer silence first. Or am i a codependent? Because I am more used to giving and giving, and i felt so betrayed now because after all I did for my mom, always thinking what she wants, how to pamper her, doing everything to protect her esp in times of this pandemic, that she got to discard me like this.. most times i felt like i couldnt function...and that if i couldnt feel safe and trust my mother, then who can i trust? maybe my father also felt this way, which is why after 16 years, he still feels strong hatred towards my mom. We left following our mom, while my dad was asleep. Now thinking back about it, he must have hurt so much and struggled a lot about the same feeling of being discarded... I feel like i couldnt move on now.............crying almost everyday during the first 4 months and waking up anxious at night and unable to sleep. Now, occassionally I do..... Thank you for reading this far..... Has anyone experienced same?