This is my first post, so here goes
I am currently in my 7th month of my first job as a doctor. It's not going well... My actual performance at the job has been consistently rated as excellent, in particular with mental health issues and delicate matters involving some thought and care. The issue is, that I seem to have real issues with authority.
The problem arose in previous jobs (before I was a doctor), being very outspoken at work in particular challenging actions of seniors which I thought were a bad idea. This always seemed to make me unpopular with the management.
In my new job I continue to be outspoken. Correcting mistakes made by others, and challenging other people's theories. I think that I do this in a friendly way, but my bosses have been far from impressed. In my job, the new guy has to "toe the line" and I'm expected to follow the very clear hierarchy.
A few months ago I was moved to a different department after I made a complaint against a Consultant who was bullying staff; I knew that to make the complaint would make my life a misery (I knew that I would be made an outsider, and a target for suspicion by other management individuals) and that I would have a pay reduction of £800/month. But I felt utterly compelled to do something; I literally couldn't eat or sleep until I had done something about it. I'm not saying that to make you all think I'm a hero; I'm saying it as a negative thing - I literally can't stop myself, and it feels like a curse. As soon as I see something wrong I feel I need to do something.
Basically I think that I'm too outspoken. When I am, I usually get thanked for it; but it makes work so damn stressful for me and my bosses seem to be eternally pissed. I don't want to be outspoken, honestly I don't; I fantasise about what it would be like to just keep quiet.
The whole problem centres around my complete inability to stand by idly while something wrong or bad happens; and if it has the potential to harm others in anyway I become even more outspoken and will not rest until the problem has been solved.
I've always been outspoken when I seem something wrong happening (a tricky thing for a weedy kid!). Since being hospitalised multiple times for Bipolar I have become even more outspoken as I seem to fear the consequences less; I felt that I had been given a second chance at life, and I should use it to do good; also, that I had had some pretty dark days which made it difficult to imagine darker. Now, although I don't fear the consequences, I'm really suffering from them.
Anyone have any tips on how to keep quiet and carry on? Is there any way to help me get along at work?
