I need help I think.

Hello Sally,when i read your posting which obviously has its limitations when giving advice,i felt urged to write this message for you.Firstly the threats you talk about,they sound worrying,what type of threats are they?Also relationships irrespective of any age difference,need to be worked at with the involvement and commitment of both parties.At times we don't always feel like it but realise when we are less stressed and we make amends accordingly. Around these times when we are more relaxed we tend to be capable of seeing the other persons point of view.And then there is another viewing point called the observing self,the part of ourselves which is able to observe our experience(s).What i think you need to do is to take a time out and during that time out do some things for you that enable you to relax and then view the last eight months from the observing self position enjoying the rational thoughts that come with that state of mind.And the question is,has your partner worked at the relationship with as much care and commitment as you,and do you feel that you have been valued and appreciated during that time.I suppose what i am really trying to say is love is a two way street and when making a decision as you need to now,make sure you do it from a calm perspective and be proud of your decision.We all have the right to be treated with respect and care from our partners.take care,Nick H.

THANKS for your reply nick. I feel as though i am lying in wait for something wonderful and it never happens. Do you know what I mean? This man is my world...I would have died for him at one point in time and now (although I still love him with all my heart ) I feel as though I am his door mat. He works hard for us everyday even over time when he can. But in my life right now i feel as though I need to be held and loved and feel like i'm loved and even though he says he loves me I can't feel it. Do you understand ? I hope you do.I'm not very good at putting into words my feelings. I was really into reading so for about 3 weeks i read continually he felt left out I haven't read a book since then.Now we have a puter he is on it at lewast 6 hours a day when he is off and i tell him i feel left out he says well u know how I felt when you were reading all the time. To me he is very vendictive. He says for a long while I didnt show him love( although I fixed his breakfast every morning his lunch fo rwork cooked his supper did all the cleaning and laundry ,made love with him when he wanted ) but i wasnt showing him I loved him? Now he asked me today "what you want is for me to hang all over you all the time" No what I want is to be held and touched and made love to every once in a while. we went from making love 3-4 times a day to maybe 1 every 2weeks. something is not right.but HE LOVES ME he says right. Im sorry to unload on you I just don't know what to do anymore.

Yes Sally i know exactly what you mean.It is a human need to want affection and to be able to respond lovingly.I,ve just written a post on the anger forum that may also be useful to you.It is about relationship strategies.There needs to be a truce and for both of you to express your needs and wants calmly that i feel is the way forward,there is more about this on the anger message board and also there is no need to apologise that is what this website is for take care,Nick H.