hi there
first time poster, long time reader.
I'm still a little unsure about coming public with this information, as when i say it out loud it wounds like juju (although i know there is very much a scientific and phsychological science behind it)
To start with I'd like to point out that this is a true series of events.
I am in no way here to try and cause drama, troll people, or seek attention for the things that have happened to me.
This is a very difficult thing i've had to come to terms with alone, and it has been traumatic - but i am dealing with it slowly but surely.
what i cannot deal with, is the fact that it KEEPS repeatedly happening.
I've been to 2 hypnotherapists who say it simply isn't possible, and that people under hypnosis can get up and walk out (completely untrue in my case)
I've seen countless doctors who try and convince me that I am suffering from sleep paralysis (which I'm not)
it's gotten to the point where i'm now having to go to see psychiatric nurses who are prescribing me things from sertraline to olanzapine - and also don't seem to be able to explain what they believe my "problem" to be.
I am fully lucid when talking about this (they even cite how calm i am at discussing my experience as a possible symptom im making it up, which makes me thing 'hold on, if i was shouting and screaming and crying about it they'd tell me i was out of my head' so that doesn't make sense to me either....)
i believe that the medical professionals involved have had no experience with the sort of psychological abuse that has been done to me, and therefore are mistaking their unfamiliarity with the subject, for it not existing...
basically what happened was, after being induced into a very deep hypnosis one night, he had some sort of ability to do a "shock induction" on me.
the way it works is; i'll be completely asleep.
He'll sneak out of the room,
then as he burts in the room shouting my brain goes into panic mode.
i hear a really strong over-riding voice in my head saying "play dead!!" so i thrust myself into my pillow and pretend to be asleep.
meanwhile the rest of me is awake and up in an almost trance state.
so consciously i can't move, i'm frozen stiff from my brain down to my medulla, and can't move a muscle - just like sleep paralysis, but i can hear myself answering his questions in third person.
i can hear it's my voice, just like i'm not able to control or stop it.
also he does anything to me in that state, and im paralyses so i can't stop him.
at first i blamed myself but now he's taught the trick to his friends.
anyone who bursts in on me sleeping somehow knows how to freeze me into this position and i become completely trapped at their mercy.
it makes me feel revolted.
every doctor i've gone to about it almost laughs at me, saying it's not possible to be raped if you didn't even tell them no.
no-one seems to understand, and no-one will listen.
does anyone understand the science behind this?
please help
SHE
x