Happy Birthday, desperate788!

desperate788 wrote:there is a big problem my father I'm sure he still has the capability to ruin my life doesn't he?

No, he doesn't. He may have been hard on you when you were a little boy, but the tables have turned. You are now a man in your prime and he's a sick old man. Of course, you'll never know that unless you go back and face up to him.

I may be in my prime but I'm still a sick and week guy. He wouldn't use physical power to ruin my life he will use his intelligence which is intact.

Desperate, you keep saying you're sick and weak, but you're not. You're not too sick to go to work, pay your bills, feed yourself and write on the forum. It takes strength to keep plodding on, year after year, in work you don't enjoy.

We're not talking about you physically fighting your father. Unless and until you stand up to him mentally and verbally, you'll go on believing you're helpless around him. Helpless even when he's nowhere near you. This is your imagination playing tricks on you.

Ask me how hard I manage this work..It's hell.

I know. But what I'm hearing is that you'd rather do that, year after year lonely and sick at heart, than go home to your mother, other relatives and old friends, all of whom would support you and show you a much better life. Just because there's one man there who apparently likes you to suffer.

If it were me I would go back to where I wanted to be, and show him I'm not afraid any more. Even if I had to pretend not to be scared, it would be worth it to see the surprise on his face when he realised he couldn't control me any more.

Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it.

I had terrible days there..I can't make the decision to resign. I'm stuck here.

Do you think you'll still be there, doing the same things and thinking the same thoughts, five years from now? Ten?

Yes

What about a late birthday party with wine tonight?

You haven't earned it.

I go to work everyday

I've sent you a PM.

I answered that

Do you think part of the problem may be in how you see hypnosis on a subconscious level? Perhaps part of you sees it as a series of manipulative tactics that you have to look out for?

??