what is wrong with me

Hi Matt

Just wanted to say that beating yourself up over things changing re the panic attacks worn't help. It must be really frustrating to have thought that you had found a definite answer and then find that things have shifted again. But at least that phase without panic attacks shows that you can exist without the attacks. Keep that in mind when you start to feel peed off with yourself. Feeling crap about yourself can only help to perpetutate negative cycles of self image etc. Feel good - you know you can live without the panic attacks - have faith that you can do it again and for longer.

Wishing you the best

Cams

Is there such a link to Alcohol and panic

I think you have answered your own question there Matt - there certainly seems to be for you.

Roger

Hey, Matt...

This isn't your first time falling off of the wagon, is it? Have you had trouble staying on the wagon before? When you drink, how far do you take it? I mean, do you stop when you feel a little buzz or do you go all the way to the end of the road: the blackout.

Try hypnotherapy, if you want to. That might do it for you, who knows? You can also try just clenching your fists and biting down whenever you stroll through the beer aisle at the local market. Might work.

I went to A.A. I found a lot of people exactly like me, and we would all sit around and talk about our problems. For a while, I thought of it as a great whining session, but it really does help to talk about what's bothering you. It's a great outlet. It's hard to stand up in front of dozens of strangers and spill out your heart, so here's something that I learned: On the first day, the first meeting, get it over with and stand up and say something. That way you'll have no excuse to be anxious about the moment (and bringing on another panic attack thinking that the day will soon come).

You might not think of yourself as an alcoholic, but if there's a wagon that you keep falling off of, then there's people like you there at the meeting. Just try it - what the hell? Even if it's not for you, you'll make a few new friends.

God bless.