Ok, I struggled a bit to come back here and tell my story because during the 10-11 months I looked this forum minute by minute trying to find answers to what was happening to me. But I promised myself that I would return.
I will summarize my story, but if you are interested, you can search my old posts.
I smoked marijuana for three years often (1-3 times a day), the first time I smoked was 18, but started smoking with frequency 3 years later with 21. I was at a frantic pace smoking pot all days and was convinced that would be part of my life for a long time if not for the rest of my life, for me there were no problems in that since I could work and smoke only one joint to sleep... After 3 years of smoking, a close friend who was also at a frantic pace snapped with serious psychological problems she was really unrecognizable. And I was very frightened by this, so I decided to stop by "a while" but as soon as I stopped the effects of abstinence have started, something really impressive: Anxiety VERY STRONG, lack of sleep, severe depression, severe depersonalization, stomach pains, some suicidal thoughts, paranoia, lack of appetite and thus worsened during the months that followed... For a long time, every day was a challenge, I started to blame me for everything I did in my life, of all wrong attitudes I had and even by some certain attitudes, I really got no head, I thought I ruined my life forever, I was horrified... Severe PAWS happened to me and you might think "you smoked for only three years, it it is very little" but I ask you - if you eat McDonald's for 3 years EVERY SINGLE day your body will not react? If you take a medication or even practice a sport for 3 years your body and mind will not react? I know there are many poeple here who have smoked for much longer, but each person responds in a way and time really does not justify much in this situation.
Anyway, during the PAWS I found this blessed forum that was the only place where I met people and found the answers to what was happening to me, every day I read the stories of the old and new members who were part of it, in the most terrible moments the only output was read by many times the story of those who were already on the other side of this turbulent river, if you are going through these moments look for: olskoolru, bigsizie, amoeba, justin92, shodan and others. It helped me to have faith that one day all this would go away and I would return to normal.
How do I feel today? The brain after being accustomed to a daily injection of cannabinoids takes some time to return to normal, it is chemical and should return to the old balance, it is as if we had to learn to live, feel, sleep, eat again... this is a painful process. So after all these months of struggle, today I can say I feel good, life is more easier, many of the symptoms have passed and some even re-appear at longer intervals, but I feel that soon it will no longer bother me. I`m a new people, but I fell normal in the most of time again...
Tips and tools that have helped me:
1. Talk to someone who understand and support you, say whatever is going through your head doesn`t matter how absurd it may be. I had that [quote]opportunity with my mother and my girlfriend, they were the key to me.
2. Have faith in something bigger. I am a Christian, then pray to God and Jesus was essential, it was my personal experience, but does not mean that you must believe in God and Jesus, something greater for you can be anything.
3. Practice sports, fitness, biking, jogging, swimming anything. I did not want to leave my home, I was afraid, did not want to go to the gym, but I forced myself to do this, I bought a bike and started pedaling... it helps to relax, it helps to have sleep, distracts and produces good things in the brain.
4. Read this forum, here's a lot of information and stories of motivation.
LASTLY:
DO NOT GIVE UP!!! The last 19 months have been the hardest of my life but today I am very grateful for having not given up ... This will pass, have faith.
I hope to get help with this post, there's a lot I wanted to talk about, I planned and waited so long for this day but I can not write because I am confused by so much thing in my head and my English is not the best.
I want to make my gratitude and a very special hug to my friends: johnrlivingston and olskoolru... I love you guys, helped me a lot to get here and we will continue together in this fight.
Please, hang in there... If I can, you can also.
Jesus bless you all~