Hello. I've been in and out of therapy since I was about 13. The only actual clinical diagnosis I've ever received are of depression and some nebulous form(/s) of anxiety disorder (GAD/Social?)
Now and then I've had therapists bring up the possibility of other disorders, namely ADD/ADHD. However, no one has ever given me that diagnosis I think mainly because they didn't feel that I'm impulsive enough, and because as far as I can remember, I didn't show symptoms as a child. However, I'm not positive that the symptoms weren't there- I just don't remember..
I've also had other people in my life hint at the possibility of bipolar or other disorders.
The older I get, the more clearer the severity of some of my "issues" becomes. And there are a lot of them: depression, anxiety, neurosis, co-dependency, self image/ self worth issues/ insecurity, compulsive eating, trouble focusing.....
The more I read (I'm sure you love to hear that), the more I feel like I fit the criteria for some of these disorders. Most strikingly, BPD. However, when asked about some of these sympotms, and when reading and assessing how well I fit the criteria, it's very difficult to know/ to know how to answer, because I don't know what's normal. With BPD, for instance, the descriptions I've read fit me pretty darned well, except for the emphasis on impulsivity. I think I'm somewhat impulsive at times- and yes, particularly when stressed. But I've never done anything overtly dangerous like driven extremely recklessly, and I've never just up and gotten on a plane and left my job and pets behind and not told anyone where I was going, etc. (this is an example one of my therapists used when questioning me about impulsivity). And at other times, I'm far too anxious and neurotic to be impulsive, and I actually feel like a real stick in the mud.
Do you have any thoughts on this or suggestions on how to express these things in a way that will allow a therapist to gauge my behaviors appropriately?
Thanks.