Not feeling the love......

Im sorry....I forgot to add....not only was Valentine's day skipped...but so was Christmas, my birthdays, etc. My birthday is 12 days from now. I am not expecting anything from him. he ruined mother's day and he turns around and says....i do care...I love holidays....all i want for Valentines is some chocolates and maybe a card....by then he doesnt even make an effort for me!

you have to tell him what you feel. let him understand your side of the story. but if he reacts as if he has done nothing wrong and doesnt do anything to make things up, you might want to start letting him go slowly unless he change because a guy who is insensitive to a woman's feeling is a guy not inlove

I thnk you already know the answer to your question, which is why you can't sleep or eat.

Breaking up a family totally sucks, but so does being deeply unhappy inside a relationship.

Maybe before you bust up with him, give him one more chance. Lay it out for him: you are on your last straw. YOu are unhappy and here is why, a, b, c, etc.

Then you'll konw you did everything you coud.

Hi there.. What an insensitive arsehole he sounds!!! I think poppy's nailed it for me. Time to get tough and make a life for you and your boy. He (the dad) will have his payback in time.. best wishes

Hi BeatingHeart,

he recently was laid off.

I suspect that this may be at the root of the problem. Particularly, if his 'bad' behaviour is only a recent phenomenon.

If this is the case, then I suggest that you get a lit bit sneaky in order to help both of you resolve this issue. I suggest that you get some money into his pocket at least a week before your birthday, without him knowing that it has come from you (via one of his good friends or family members), preferably as a gift, rather than a loan.

Don't expect him to spend all of the money that you get into his pocket of your birthday present.

Most importantly, regardless of what he gets you, go out of your way to reward him, by showing your appreciation and happiness.

"What gets rewarded, gets done."

If you think that it is indeed his recent job-loss that is adversely effecting his behaviour, and he is normally a good chap, then try to be forgiving, and help him get back on his feet.

Best wishes,
John

Sneaking money into his pocket? Right now he has 4x the amount I do...so that isn't a reason...excuse for him to use. And......this all started before his job loss....in fact, 4 or 5 months before is when i started telling him I needed SOME attention...something from him that made me feel special. In fact on valentine's day...I told him if he had just written on a piece of paper...Happy V-day...love you.... I Would have been happy with THAT! but instead i got excuses. Im not hard to please. I am not materialistic...I just want to be shown love! Thank you all for your feedback. Part of me agrees with me knowing what i want already. It is not to feel un-loved. He says he loves me, that he wouldnt know what to do without me.... why am I not convinced?

Is he inattentive towards you in other ways as well or is it just the present giving?
If the rest of your relationship is ok then maybe you could overlook this and go out and buy yourself something instead, could this be an option for you?

I think that he will not respond to you putting pressure on him to give you more attention, this might just make him worse. Does he show you that he cares about you in other ways, sometimes men are more likely to show their love by taking care of you in practical ways?

How are you behaving towards him? If you're not being loving towards him he probably wont feel like giving you anything back!

Did anything happen 4-5 months ago to trigger this, if he's switched off emotionally to you do you think there is the possiblity that someone else is involved?

What about you both making a list of things that you can do to show your love for each other? you could trade one thing from your list for one on his.

Is it possible for you to go to counselling, it would be a shame to split up from the father of you baby if the relationship is salvageable.
Hope you work it out!

It isn't just a gift thing....I have told him many times that I feel like he is "detaching". Not sure why...but I feel like I have been there for him when I shouldnt have been. He hasn't even been faithful to me in the past....and he wasnt really there for me when I went through my own hard times....but randomly he will surprise me and will be there. Its so confusing! I did go out and buy myself something. Brought it home and still not feeling the support I need from him.