Social phobia?

hi
i have the same problem troughout my life, sometimes as severe as how you describe yours, but one of the things that helped was; not be so anxious about the social situation, it sounds imposible to do, it is not easy, but it has helped me at sometimes in my life.
i had a kind of social phobia, and it has limited my life so much, in latter years things have improved, i have been able to fall in love and have loved wonderfull women.

:roll: I have the exact same thing!!! I have been diagnosed as having mild aspergers syndrome, which is a form of autism. It gives you problems with social communication. I can talk to people in a formal setting if I have to , but social situations are a complete nightmare. I feel the same with family members, and I'm scared of the general public and mixing with them. I have got married and had children but have had big problems with that. It's taken a long time for my husband to understand how I feel. Also, my son has a form of autism, which he obviously got from me, and he has a lot of problems of his own. Can you see a doctor about how you feel? You could have something very different to me. Have you had this all your life, or is it recent? I've had it all my life and I know I always will, but I accept it since my diagnosis as it is simply the way I am.

thank you both for replying. No I haven't seen a doctor. I have seen therapists before about how other people seem to upset me so much. But that's it. I didn't realize how bad it was until I moved back home and started a job as an attorney. It was so bad two days ago, that I ended up locking myself in my office with the lights off and calling a crisis hotline to talk me out of my panic attack. Basically, I was terrified of going out into the street.

I don't think I used to be this way, but I was raised to be afraid of strangers. Plus, I used to be bullied as a child, and I find people still try to bully me, so I guess I've become misanthropic! And agrophobic, it seems. And I'm not too sure what the problem is really. or how to deal with it. My mother told me last night, that i hold back from other people, even when I'm otherwise being pleasant, so those other people can't get close. Now I have close friends, but lately it's been harder and harder to make new friends, especially after moving to a new place, even with family around. then again, I don't want to be with the family either.

I seriously can't imagine falling in love. Glad to hear it worked for you, though, Sebastien.

You seem to be going through a crisis right now. Can you take time off work and see a doctor or therapist? You may need some time to think through your problems. Your mother sounds like she can be a little critical, sometimes close relatives aren't the best people to help us. The incident in your office sounded very distressing for you, do you have other people at work that understand or can help? It sounds like your past has made you somewhat fearful of people and recent big changes in your life have caused a stronger phobic reaction. There are people who can help you out there, and I'm sure you can get to a happier stage in life. All the best luck to you.

Thank you for the advice. All that you said is probably true and yesterday it did occur to me that all these recent changes might be bringing out the worst. I am looking into therapy but am having difficulty finding a therapist right now. The city I live in is notorious for having all medical people being overbooked. But as soon as I find someone, I will start. Meanhwile, I am trying the hypnotherapy session on social phobia and agoraphobia from hypnosis downloads, but have yet to feel a substantial difference. It's been a week and they say on the session to use them for that length of time, so I don't quite know what's going on.

Is there any other self help that you or anyone else can recommend until I find a therapist?

hi tulip
another thing that helped me overcome my panic attacks for a while, was to take certain risks. being more specifical; after graduating from the university, i builted a double curvature dome at my house, for that i had to walk on top of high walls, carrying tools, it was a two story house, at the begining i just couldn't do it, couldn't stand on top of the wall and look 18 ft down, i was so afraid of just falling. but i began to try it, and at the end you could've seen me walking like nothing and taking incredible risks to build the dome. in that specifical time my panic attacks and phobias seemed to dissapear, and were in a record low.
am not telling you to try bungee jumping or parachuting, but some activity that involves some risk might help you as it did to me.
best wishes

Thank you for the advice. It's a good idea. I just tried something like that right now. I was in the office ktichen and someone was near the cutlery. My urge was to go to another kitchen for a fork but I decided to take a breath and get the fork at that place. It's really embarrassing to be so neurotic, but probably most people don't notice.

I just end up feeling silly! But I guess I will keep trying your advice. Also, what did you do to get over that initial step, just insist to yourself youw ere going to do this? Did you distract yourself such as with a focus on breathing or posture?

And that's very clever of you to build a dome on your house!

well, actually there was no first step, at the very begining a couple of good friends, from the university, helped me a little, building the domes, and i was amazed about how one of my friends could stand on top of the wall with his two feet and not be afraid of falling, at the beginning i just couldn't do it, so what i did; was i used to step on the wall with my hands on top of the wall, almost in a knelling position, i didn't do any special breathing technic or anything like that, the fear was always there, and as the days and the dome began to take shape, i began not to use my hands to hold myself, i began to walk faster and faster on top of the wall, and carry the bricks and gypsum for the dome, and use the tools, and look down and not feel the fear of falling. these friends just helped me on the first days, after that i completelly finished building the first dome and did the second entirely by myself.
we bought that house a few months before, the remodel process began, that room was originally a terraze, and i decided to turn it into my bedroom.
in my last years in architecture school, i got very interested in domes, so it was an evident choice.

Thank you for your advice. I have just signed up with a counselor and hopefully will resolve this problem soon. the only problem with going outside and trying to break through the problem is that other people will sense my fear and get in face. So I don't think I can take that step right now. But we'll see how it all goes.

Thank you for your advice. I have just signed up with a counselor and hopefully will resolve this problem soon. the only problem with going outside and trying to break through the problem is that other people will sense my fear and get in my face. So I don't think I can take that step right now. But we'll see how it all goes.