Why do I explode?

Hi there, I am Laureat, and thank you for your question...

We condition ourselves how to react on situations,

Example; there are students who cry when fail to pass the exam, but there are also those who become aggressive and start protesting the situation;

When other drivers are not driving their cars as you expect them to, now, you are protesting their mistakes, and there is nothing weird about it...

However you do have to understand there are begginners out there driving the car, and they cannot do any better, just like you did mistakes when you were a bigginner,

Do not search for reasons to excuse your anger, because if you do, you strengthen a negative state of the mind, Instead, search for good reasons to relax,

Do not identify yourself like " i am angry person " because who we believe that we are, is important, Our statements about ourselves are important;

Why did i became so angry person?

The problem is not you, the problem is people around that we learn from...

If people around us would all be relaxed and make positive statements; it would also give us a push on that direction, same as a movie that leads our feelings, our way of thinking...

If you want to acconplish relaxation; you have to be a leader...

Like when everyone start to panic, you be like, no this is a good time to relax,

By doing that, you are rejecting invitations to negative state of the mind; you are not becoming their follower...

Instead you can become a leader, by choosing relaxation, and rejecting something else...

laureat wrote:Like when everyone starts to panic, you be like, no this is a good time to relax,

I sure like the image this created in my mind. It made me laugh. I will definitely remember this.

quietvoice wrote:

laureat wrote:Like when everyone starts to panic, you be like, no this is a good time to relax,

I sure like the image this created in my mind. It made me laugh. I will definitely remember this.

Thank you sir, i hope it gives you an idea about becoming a leader by rejecting other peoples invitations to negative state of the mind...

Are you open to alternative healing techniques? You might benefit from The Emotion Code (look it up online). This has the potential to drain old emotions.
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sara

How easy is it for you to forgive?

I know certain method for relax, it helps to clean mind of all stress, frustration. Try it everyday, believe me it is short.
Lie down on bed now try to relax. Let all thoughts (both negative and positive) pass, let all thoughts pass until your mind will be clean. When your mind will be clean stay in this silence for a minute. At certain point you will feel this feeling of relaxation as if you have been cleaned of sth.

Try this everyday, believe me it will relax you and help you clean yourself from all stress

remember don't be hard on yourself it is not your fault that you can't control your anger, just like other people with depression or problems,

you have huge stress inside of you which is hurting you, this inner stress is causing this, it is not your fault you can't control it : (
it is important that you are aware of it and want to change

Are you open to alternative healing techniques? You might benefit from The Emotion Code (look it up online). This has the potential to drain old emotions.
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Over the years I have been getting a lot less practice in controlling my anger. I had been thinking it must be because my life is so much better now, that there has just been simply nothing to provoke me to anger. Well, no. Reading your post reminds me that I used to get angry at all of the same things that you are getting angry with now. I suppose I just ‘practiced’ not getting angry for so long that, well, I must have gotten relatively good at it.

First it was with the small daily things. I used to be angry when driving, but unless you are really overt with it – rolling down your window and waving your arms, giving finger signals, then the other drivers are not likely to notice and you are likely to be able to get away with that kind of anger forever. But then I started riding motorcycles and quickly learned that if you express anger while on a motorcycle, well, it is VERY easy for the other drivers to just run you off the road. So for self-preservation I recognized a good inhibition against driving angry. If I saw something that used to bother me, well, I just learned to let it go.

Next, well, I am from the American Northeast, that huge and seemingly endless Metropolitan Area extending from Boston down to Washington, and maybe even further now. Well, the people there consider swearing as something of an art form and take great pride in being able to swear just right. They even have rules for it – some combinations sound silly and are forbidden. Anyway, move out of Area to get a job and you find out that in the more proper states even really good and artistic swearing will get you into trouble at one’s employment. So I learned to stop swearing.

Not swearing makes a Big Difference. As I found out, swearing always just seems to rile one into a negative mood – more negative than when you began. And from that I learned that almost any Surrender to a Bad Mood just leads to further negativity. Essentially, if you can keep from showing or expressing any negative response, to negative occurrences as they come up, well, then you are not egging yourself on… whipping yourself into a frenzy. Try it. It’s amazing how one can decide to be calm about a great number of things.

Especially inanimate objects. I’ve had jobs where I had to repair things, and it is just a huge waste of time if you let yourself go negative over a Thing. The First Rule there is you can’t let the Thing know that it is winning. That just makes the Gremlins more stubborn and they dig in deeper. Also, you can think more clearly when you can stay calm.

Now, yes, at a certain point, there are Triggers that push you past all of those Easy Things to Control. For the harder stuff you have to really start cracking the Anger Management Books and learn about triggers and warning indications of building anger, etc. But, in your present condition, where it seems that most everything can make you angry, well, it just seems logical that you should start working on just the Easy Baseline Stuff.

Oh, that reminds me of a real neat movie I once saw – “La Femme Nakita” with little Bridget Fonda. First we see her Spy Mentor, Anne Bancroft I think, drilling her and drilling her, and really laying on the stress, and then whenever Bridget is getting ready to really melt down, her Mentor says “Remember, ‘I never sweat the small stuff’.

So, later in the Movie, Bridget and this other spy lady are out on an assassination job when everything goes south… whatever could go wrong went wrong, and they had to call in a Clean Up Guy. Well, the Clean Up Guy shows up and some of his procedures really gross out the Other Lady, who was on the edge of Melt Down anyway even before he showed up. Well, there was no time to deal with a Nervous Breakdown and so he just pulls out a gun and shoots her, faster than it took me to tell you about it. Anyway, the Clean Up Guy thinks that Bridget might have been her friend and that this is going to be just another ‘problem’, and so he turns to her and says “Do I have to worry about you”? Guess what she says. I really memorable line. “No, I never sweat the small stuff”.

I know, I know, it was from a Chick Flick, but we could all benefit if only we too could just remember all the time, “I never sweat the small stuff”.

Oh, this is Leo again.

I got the movie quote wrong. The Movie is "Point of No Return" (La Femme Nakita was the original French Movie) and the exact line is "I never did mind about the little things".

I was able to find the formative scene on youtube. The movie was from 1993 so its surprising I remembered as much as I had.