Something on my mind.

**Posts:** 4 · by **mission** » Sat May 01, 2004 11:54 am

This thought has been on my mind for some time now, so I decided to put it on the table here to see if anyone had any ideas of their own they might like to share.
Here we go....

Since the age of about 5yrs I began to understand the concept of death in terms of we leave behind this world and move onto something else (hopefully). With this new information I found that every so often, maybe once or twice a year, when I was preparing for sleep I would be just about to fall asleep when I would have a sudden burst of clarity letting me know that one day I would DIE (obviously). The clarity and sudden conscious awareness of this was frightening to the max and it takes a minute or two to pull myself out of it.( sometimes I have stayed with it to see if it goes anywhere, but it never does, and usually the fear losses it's intensity).
I have spoken to many friends and family about this and they could all relate to similar experiences in their lives and with about the same frequency. I read somewhere that this is one of the reasons the defence mechanism of denial was formed so as to protect us from going crazy with our ability to accept our eventual fate.
It seems that these episodes arise most frequently at that moment just before sleep, when we are in a trance like state, and are seemingly able to bypass certain protective functions of the mind.
One of my questions is where did denial come from? And as it is so effective at reducing anxiety in respect of the most frightening truth that one day I have to die, how can I use this resource to rid myself of illogical fears eg public speaking,flying or heights.

Thanks

Nick.

**Posts:** 225 · by **fathom** » Sun May 09, 2004 6:55 am

mission wrote:This thought has been on my mind for some time now, so I decided to put it on the table here to see if anyone had any ideas of their own they might like to share.
Here we go....

Since the age of about 5yrs I began to understand the concept of death in terms of we leave behind this world and move onto something else (hopefully). With this new information I found that every so often, maybe once or twice a year, when I was preparing for sleep I would be just about to fall asleep when I would have a sudden burst of clarity letting me know that one day I would DIE (obviously). The clarity and sudden conscious awareness of this was frightening to the max and it takes a minute or two to pull myself out of it.( sometimes I have stayed with it to see if it goes anywhere, but it never does, and usually the fear losses it's intensity).
I have spoken to many friends and family about this and they could all relate to similar experiences in their lives and with about the same frequency. I read somewhere that this is one of the reasons the defence mechanism of denial was formed so as to protect us from going crazy with our ability to accept our eventual fate.
It seems that these episodes arise most frequently at that moment just before sleep, when we are in a trance like state, and are seemingly able to bypass certain protective functions of the mind.
One of my questions is where did denial come from? And as it is so effective at reducing anxiety in respect of the most frightening truth that one day I have to die, how can I use this resource to rid myself of illogical fears eg public speaking,flying or heights.

Thanks

Nick.

Well Nick - I'm not an expert on this but will find someone tho answer by Monday if that's ok?

**Posts:** 4 · by **mission** » Mon May 10, 2004 1:56 pm

Hello Fathom,

Thanks for taking this one up. I sometimes re read my post and think derrr.
But there again denial is real, and very powerful. It has to be an untapped resource.

Hope something turns up.

Nick

Down under in cooling rapidly Melbourne. Quick chuck another shrimp on the barbee mate!

**Posts:** 10 · by **blue myst** » Tue May 11, 2004 8:12 pm

mission,

I find it interesting that you would like to utilize denial. In many experiences, I've found that denial has come to cause me problems. I've come to realize that instead of denial, a more effective way of getting through these fears is acceptance and knowledge.

I can take a shot at where denial comes from but I don't even know if it will be ballpark. Firstly, denial instantly quells feelings of anxiety. Our intellect then leads us to believe that this quick regaining of comfort is good. Therefore we see nothing wrong with denial and it is reinforced because it instantly stops our discomfort. Yet, denial is a glossing over of the truth (which leads to distorted truth).

I hope I've helped a little. :wink:

**Posts:** 12 · by **twoten** » Wed May 12, 2004 1:46 am

Interresting: My guess is that denial is an evolutionary process which enabled us to function on a daily level without being overcome by fear.
My personal opinion is that all forms of religion are the result of the very denial you refer to.
We have no right to believe that our time is any more precious than that of the ant we stepped on while crossing the lawn.
Are we civilized?

**Posts:** 2522 · by **kfedouloff** » Wed May 12, 2004 11:00 am

Buddhist philosophers say that one of the problems for people raised in Western societies is that we don't think about death often enough. Thinking about the last things, and accepting that we ourselves are not going to last for ever, helps to put life in perspective. It's perhaps a good thing to make friends with death! After all, if you accept death, and do not fear it, you can enjoy life so much more, because you will spend less time worrying about dying. I'm not saying it is easy, and this denial that we practise makes it even more of a challenge, but I think it is worth working it.

Some books I recommend:

Much to think about!

Kathleen

Something on my mind.

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