Supervisor and I

**Posts:** 8 · by **petite_cherie5** » Sat Jun 07, 2014 3:17 pm

I am working in a big company, I am 21 years old turning 22 this year. And I feel weird, because I see my supervisor (who's in her late 30's) as a mother. I am confused, although I know work and personal life is totally different. I am just looking a mother figure since my mom isn't too sweet and my supervisor has something that I am lookin' for. I know I am being immature and childish, but I can't help it! Although that supervisor doesn't have children or hubby. Whenever I am with her, I feel awkward yet she's so sweet, bubbly and very talkative when we are together (I noticed that she isn't like that to everyone at work). Also knowing that she has been in my country (somewhere in Asia) for a visit and she has friends from my country. We have a lot in common too, we've been to same places, we have the same taste of music, clothes, movies... Oh and she even congratulated me for doing a good job and for working hard, it made me so happy! I even daydream that she's my mother. A family friend of mine and my best friend told me that it's better if I separate my personal life from work and never expect too much or else I'll get hurt. And don't even trust her! What can I do? Again, I just can't help it. I know 'Your boss is not your mother' (Just like the book). Please guys help me!!! By the way, she was also my trainer&teacher!

**Posts:** 10113 · by **JuliusFawcett** » Sun Jun 08, 2014 4:51 pm

It seems that your gut instinct is that she has something to help you with the next stage of growth in your life, this is healthy, it is fun to follow your intuition, your heart always knows the path of happiness more than your head.

**Posts:** 8 · by **petite_cherie5** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 1:43 pm

I tried to add her on Facebook, she didn't accept my request, I even waited a week or so. I found her Instagram also, I think this is an obsession, this mother-figure thingy. I am crossing the line! I know there should be boundaries between us.

**Posts:** 10113 · by **JuliusFawcett** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 2:46 pm

Are you crossing your own line?

**Posts:** 8 · by **petite_cherie5** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 3:48 pm

Sorry what I meant is, i crossed the line because I added her on Facebook. But when I am together I am quiet and shy. I don't know why.

**Posts:** 10113 · by **JuliusFawcett** » Thu Jun 19, 2014 4:56 pm

You can be more courageous, this video can help you with your self talk. Headphones recommended.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGgnx4f ... YwdCN2DLoN

**Posts:** 54 · by **Robert Plamondon** » Mon Jul 07, 2014 3:33 pm

petite_cherie5 wrote:I am working in a big company, I am 21 years old turning 22 this year. And I feel weird, because I see my supervisor (who's in her late 30's) as a mother. I am confused, although I know work and personal life is totally different. I am just looking a mother figure since my mom isn't too sweet and my supervisor has something that I am lookin' for. I know I am being immature and childish, but I can't help it! Although that supervisor doesn't have children or hubby. Whenever I am with her, I feel awkward yet she's so sweet, bubbly and very talkative when we are together (I noticed that she isn't like that to everyone at work). Also knowing that she has been in my country (somewhere in Asia) for a visit and she has friends from my country. We have a lot in common too, we've been to same places, we have the same taste of music, clothes, movies... Oh and she even congratulated me for doing a good job and for working hard, it made me so happy! I even daydream that she's my mother. A family friend of mine and my best friend told me that it's better if I separate my personal life from work and never expect too much or else I'll get hurt. And don't even trust her! What can I do? Again, I just can't help it. I know 'Your boss is not your mother' (Just like the book). Please guys help me!!! By the way, she was also my trainer&teacher!

Does the word "mentor" apply here?

**Posts:** 8 · by **petite_cherie5** » Sun Jul 13, 2014 7:24 pm

We are being close day by day. But I don't know what she feels for me, if as a daughter or just someone from work. I gave her a cute pink pen and hope she'll not think I am a lesbian!

Thank you!!

**Posts:** 8 · by **petite_cherie5** » Mon Jul 14, 2014 4:50 pm

Robert Plamondon wrote:
petite_cherie5 wrote:I am working in a big company, I am 21 years old turning 22 this year. And I feel weird, because I see my supervisor (who's in her late 30's) as a mother. I am confused, although I know work and personal life is totally different. I am just looking a mother figure since my mom isn't too sweet and my supervisor has something that I am lookin' for. I know I am being immature and childish, but I can't help it! Although that supervisor doesn't have children or hubby. Whenever I am with her, I feel awkward yet she's so sweet, bubbly and very talkative when we are together (I noticed that she isn't like that to everyone at work). Also knowing that she has been in my country (somewhere in Asia) for a visit and she has friends from my country. We have a lot in common too, we've been to same places, we have the same taste of music, clothes, movies... Oh and she even congratulated me for doing a good job and for working hard, it made me so happy! I even daydream that she's my mother. A family friend of mine and my best friend told me that it's better if I separate my personal life from work and never expect too much or else I'll get hurt. And don't even trust her! What can I do? Again, I just can't help it. I know 'Your boss is not your mother' (Just like the book). Please guys help me!!! By the way, she was also my trainer&teacher!

Does the word "mentor" apply here?

Yeah kinda!

**Posts:** 25 · by **PhilShackleford** » Wed Jul 23, 2014 6:40 pm

JuliusFawcett wrote:It seems that your gut instinct is that she has something to help you with the next stage of growth in your life, this is healthy, it is fun to follow your intuition, your heart always knows the path of happiness more than your head.

Great words of wisdom Julius!

**Posts:** 47 · by **TheCarpenter** » Sat Aug 09, 2014 6:19 am

for me, i guess there is nothing wrong if you treat her like your friend, your best buddy, partner in crime or even treat her like your mother. i know that there is a boundary between you and her in work, but it doesn't means that you can't be close on her outside of work. you are happy whenever you are with her, so why having a issue here?

goodluck and wishing you all the best.

**Posts:** 8 · by **petite_cherie5** » Sun Aug 24, 2014 9:25 am

Yeah! Finally the other day, we ate lunch together. (Outside work of course). And she's totally different. Not so "motherly" but I still see her as a mom. She makes me happy!!! She's inspiring me too

**Posts:** 2122 · by **Herbie306** » Sun Aug 24, 2014 9:49 am

How would you feel about her afterwards if she needed to reprimand you? No matter how you feel about her, I think there still needs to be some respect between the two of you.
I don't think there is anything wrong with a supervisor / supervisee (?) going for lunch together, though the strong feelings you have for her could make things difficult for you should things take a turn one way or the other. Take care.

**Posts:** 105 · by **whybotherwhynot** » Sun Aug 24, 2014 8:32 pm

There is nothing wrong about having a good relationship with your supervisor. But a close relationship? I doubt it. There are always boundaries between bosses and employees and between supervisor and supervisee.

I don't want to be negative, but I hope things at work would not happen to you like what happened in this article "When a close friendship with a boss suddenly ends" on this website: http://www.thefriendshipblog.com/when-c ... enly-ends/

There are lots of twist and turns and surprises in life. You will learn by your own experiences. Be careful.

**Posts:** 8 · by **petite_cherie5** » Tue Aug 26, 2014 12:57 pm

Herbie306 wrote:How would you feel about her afterwards if she needed to reprimand you? No matter how you feel about her, I think there still needs to be some respect between the two of you.
I don't think there is anything wrong with a supervisor / supervisee (?) going for lunch together, though the strong feelings you have for her could make things difficult for you should things take a turn one way or the other. Take care.

When I am at work, I try not to talk to her too much lately. We don't talk about our personal life while working. I'm not giving my 100% to her now. I realized that maybe one day, my feelings will go away.

Supervisor and I

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