the curse of the witch doll

sorry for my english though...

laureat wrote:...the playstation club its a club . you have 10s of playstations in the club and people come and play and pay you something like 1 euro per hour

I don't know where you live...which country...but the pandemic has a lot of businesses closed. A PlayStation club might be difficult while the virus is still active.

yeah. pandemic would have closed me as well.

i am being attacked on strange ways. i dont know the purpose of these strange things which if i talk about youd say you being paranoid . i am not being paranoid i am being challenged. my confidence, my intellect, my frustration, my confusion. i have asked so many times that i dont want any of these still nobody cares what i want because others want something else . how can i turn the ship back? theres no going back if im trapped with those who want to purposefully frustrate me or whatsoever... it would be possible if i start to believe they have finally stopped . but they are not they keep on doing it . and i feel like an animal on a circus that people do whatsoever it takes to accomplish their own goals

there was another woman part of my life. she used to slap herself and use it as correction tool i guess , she knew how to shock me for minor mistakes that i made. that was very bad. btw i had a bad day. nothing serious just i wasnt good i guess

a bad thing about delusions its hard to tell. because they always manage to find a space where you really believe they are true. i feel sorry for my family if its just me . im so terrible to deal with.

first they torture to frustration, second i become frustrated and so called paranoid . it was very obvious about the food i said i dont want and thats what they serve me. my teeth hurt i got bad teeth care so i dont want chocolates and they keep bringing me chocolates. i did not like fast food and now all i eat is fast food. food torture. and i dont want BS like you can choose . because you accidently choose wrong if thats what they serve you all of the time.

laureat wrote: and i dont want BS like you can choose . because you accidently choose wrong if thats what they serve you all of the time.

It doesn't matter what you want. You can choose.

You can choose to think it is BS. And that is the problem. You NEVER take responsibility for your own behavior. You blame your behaviors on everyone else. It is never you. It is a witch doll. THAT IS BS! STOP blaming witch dolls and everyone else.

No witch doll forced you to log onto this forum and complain. You made the choice to come on this forum and complain, complain, complain. You make the choice of what you post. And you choose what you put in your mouth.

this is no test of my leadership potential. it is a torture and challenge with whatever i dont want . yes i am complaining because im being tortured to frustration

laureat wrote: it is a torture and challenge with whatever i dont want .

Maybe life is not about what you don't want. Maybe life is about other people, including your daughter.

i am trying to keep it strong but i cant. i wish i was stronger but i am not .

to me women are like drugs . the more you have the more you want . or thats how i feel about. after every brakeup i ended very depressed . i could not handle with the cheating . i could not handle with the marriage. i always wanted more women. i want to learn to live single and no relationships .

You think 2-3x first before deciding, and remind yourself with that all the time.

if i try to look from positive side. i feel like i am recovering from some addictions like TV, that would be better for work if it ever happens.

im so frustrated.