Swallowing Awareness OCD...in desperate need of help!

**Posts:** 4 · by **London_Anne** » Tue Feb 17, 2015 5:41 pm

Hi everyone. I am a 27 year old female from London in need of desperate help. Before I explain in detail, please note that the OCD problem I am experiencing could be triggable in people with similar OCD mindsets so please do not read any further if this applies to you.

About 2 months ago I was going through quite a lot of stress at work but aside from this, things in my life where going very well. One night I was out for dinner and the person I was with was swallowing their food quite loudly at the dinner table. This for some reason made me think about the whole act of swallowing and thus, I suddenly became consciously aware of the whole process. Normally it is a sub-conscious act that we as humans do around every 30 seconds without even realizing but once it had become conscious to me, I started to notice every swallow that I did that night! This panicked me but I went to bed and hoped I would forget about it when I woke up. Sadly this did not happen and my mind reminded me of the swallowing pretty much straight away when I woke and for the whole of that day.

Fast forward 2 months and I am at breaking point as this has not relented at all. Every day since this point I have noticed my swallowing pretty much every time I have to do the process. This is around 2000 swallows in a 16 hour day. As you can imagine, this is very tough to deal with both physically and mentally. It is so consuming, distressing and constant and there really is no escape as it is a normal bodily function that we all do. I fear now that I will be like this forever given the time and severity that I have had the problem for and if I am honest, the last week I have started to have suicidal thoughts, it really has got that bad. Looking online there is not a lot of information other than a doctor in America who classes it a Sensorimotor OCD.

I really do not know what to do and feel very, very scared. My partner does not get triggered by this even though I talk to him about it every night which makes me think it is an anxiety or OCD type problem? I do have a history of OCD in the past where I would touch things a certain number of times or else I would believe something bad would happen. I grew out of this however once I hit my teens.

Has anyone had this problem themselves and can give me some advise/hope?

**Posts:** 954 · by **Beloved** » Wed Feb 18, 2015 2:22 am

http://www.google.com/search?q=%22how+t ... &oq=&gs_l=
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http://www.google.com/search?client=saf ... 8&oe=UTF-8

**Posts:** 954 · by **Beloved** » Wed Feb 18, 2015 2:33 am

This looks good.
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=150810

**Posts:** 954 · by **Beloved** » Wed Feb 18, 2015 2:39 am

London_Anne wrote:the person I was with was swallowing their food quite loudly at the dinner table.

Did you think this person would choke? Was ill-mannered? Did you wish this person would choke? What are your associations to this triggering event? Any dreams about this? Are your problems reprisals against yourself for unconscious ill wishes toward this person? What was this person swallowing?

Let's decode this.

**Posts:** 4 · by **London_Anne** » Wed Feb 18, 2015 8:33 am

Beloved wrote:
London_Anne wrote:the person I was with was swallowing their food quite loudly at the dinner table.

Did you think this person would choke? Was ill-mannered? Did you wish this person would choke? What are your associations to this triggering event? Any dreams about this? Are your problems reprisals against yourself for unconscious ill wishes toward this person? What was this person swallowing?

Let's decode this.

Thanks for your replies Beloved.
In answer to the above questions, I honestly don't believe there are any sub-conscious events from my past that could have triggered this. It was simply a meal with a business associate who I have always gotten on with well enough in the few meetings we have had in the past, I have no ill wishes toward the person at all. No dreams about this that I can remember, though my sleep has become disturbed due to the anxiety.
It was just a standard meal to discuss business, they were eating fish for main course and a chocolate cake for dessert, I have no issues or allergies with either food. It was quite simply that this person swallowed there food quite loudly during the meal and I picked up on it and on the train home I was thinking about it in detail and it made me really conscious of my own swallowing reflux. After thinking this I started to notice each of my own swallow's which occurred around every 30 seconds. After a short amount of time doing this it became really uncomfortable/annoying and nothing could distract me from it. I panicked and thought to myself "What if I can't ever get this back to being a sub -conscious thing?" I guess this fear implanted on my brain. As I said in my first post, I went to bed and thought I might wake up and forget about it but no, as soon as I woke next day my mind focused on it and I really got anxious by this point. That day at work was a nightmare, I did it all day and have done since for the last 2 months, it's been a horrible horrible experience that I see no way out of :-(

**Posts:** 954 · by **Beloved** » Wed Feb 18, 2015 8:19 pm

My bad. If it is unconscious you are unaware of it and it can only be recovered by free association and dream interpretation.

But the idea of an unconscious is controversial. The strongest evidence for such an entity may be dreams.

I hope at least one of the links helps you.

**Posts:** 386 · by **kyrani99** » Mon Feb 23, 2015 10:56 am

you say "they" were eating fish and chocolate cake. My question is were you dining alone with this business associate or were there others too!
Is there anyone who might be jealous of your good business relationship or reason to want to cause you problems? In my opinion this sounds very much like foul game play.

**Posts:** 4 · by **London_Anne** » Mon Feb 23, 2015 12:59 pm

Not sure if your reply is serious? There was no hidden agenda/foul play! I have simply become CONSCIOUSLY aware of my swallowing when normally this is a SUB-CONCIOUS act. When you are consciously aware of your swallowing it is very very distressing as you notice each swallow every 30 seconds. My mind is not allowing me to stop thinking about it. The reason I became aware was because the person I was with swallowed a bit louder than normal and it alerted to my mind to the whole process.

**Posts:** 386 · by **kyrani99** » Wed Feb 25, 2015 10:09 am

London_Anne wrote:Not sure if your reply is serious? There was no hidden agenda/foul play! I have simply become CONSCIOUSLY aware of my swallowing when normally this is a SUB-CONCIOUS act. When you are consciously aware of your swallowing it is very very distressing as you notice each swallow every 30 seconds. My mind is not allowing me to stop thinking about it. The reason I became aware was because the person I was with swallowed a bit louder than normal and it alerted to my mind to the whole process.

I am giving you a serious reply.
Firstly "the mind", being your thought cannot allow or disallow you from doing anything. Thoughts are not in business for themselves. Furthermore nothing in the physical world can "alert your mind" to anything.

You perceived the loud swallowing, which I presume you must have heard before if you know this person and have had a meal together before. But even if it is the first time you heard it, it is still a perception. That means you became aware of it.

In your original post you said:
"About 2 months ago I was going through quite a lot of stress at work but aside from this, things in my life where going very well."
This signals problems in the workplace.

Then you said"
One night I was out for dinner and the person I was with was swallowing their food quite loudly at the dinner table. This for some reason made me think about the whole act of swallowing and thus,
"for some reason".. what reason. Your have insightfully realized that there is a reason but not enough conscious information to understand what the reason is.

I suddenly became consciously aware of the whole process. There is a clue here.
I would say that there has to be some suggestion that may have been made to you mentally under fear conditions that were not obvious. Fear is recognized when there is enough information about any possible threat but if there is not enough information then you may only feel hot or having lots of energy.

If I am right, then the suggestion made would be based on a real event, which makes it hard to dispel. The real event in this case was that there was a person whose swallowing process you became consciously aware of. Thus a general suggestion is gleaned from this that says "you become consciously aware of the swallowing". If you accept this then it becomes a belief and as a belief you act on it. YOU act on it, i.e., as personal self. Personal self is the aggregate of ideas and associated bodily reactivity at any one time. And there is consistency in personal self because of beliefs. All of your belief create your personal self.

Solution. Realize that the suggestion only applies to your perception of your friend's swallow on that night. That means you don't take it as a general suggestion because as a general suggestion you then apply it to yourself.. hence your problem.

**Posts:** 2 · by **Badchi** » Sat Jan 13, 2018 5:32 am

Hi Anne, I have exactly the same problem for the past few months. Did you manage to find a cure? Thanks

**Posts:** 1 · by **ndunn2012** » Tue Feb 13, 2018 1:16 am

Hello. I have suffered with Sensorimotor OCD for three years now. If anybody else is going through this, please get in touch. It is a rare form of OCD and I'd like to chat to others who understand. Natalie x

**Posts:** 2 · by **Badchi** » Tue Feb 13, 2018 7:47 am

Hi Natalie my swallowing symptoms have improved slightly but still there and is usually the first thing I think of when I wake up. Did you find a cure? Three years is a long time

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