Hi, I'm not really sure what to say....Im having bouts (lasting a few days) of almost uncontrollable anger/uncontrollable crying. I get so angry I want to set fire to things. I hit myself and smash my head into the walls and, god, I get so so angry. Last night I tore the arms from my boyfriend's favourite stuffed toy.
Then I laughed.
Anger and frustration is usually triggered by boyfriend, I feel unsupported by him and we don't have enough sex (less than once a week), which I take as rejection, which makes me feel angry, etc, etc. He says I should stop acting like a child.
I know all the usual advice, like calming, relaxing, etc.
Problem is, I feel suffocated and had my first mini panic attack today, hyperventilating... Im living in a major Asian city, I hate it here (been here 1 year) and I'm posted here (int'l org) for about 16 more months. Its the 2nd time I have to live in a horrible Asian city and I just want to go home and be with my family/friends.
But I'll stay, and I'll be OK. I just need to learn how to deal with these bursts of anger!!! I feel like maybe my relationship is coming to a crisis point which will force action (like perhaps me leaving my boyfriend)...but this scares me because I love him very much.
Thank you for listening.