Hello Sc Guy,
As a retired Probation and Parole Officer I am of course very familiar with the situation you are in. You are very fortunate that you have sufficient insight to be able to do something about. Many others cannot understand themselves and keep on blaming others instead of themselves.
The connection between alcohol consumption and violence is well known among psychologists. Alcohol is a hypoglycemic chemical substance that lowers blood sugar levels in certain individuals, sensitive to alcohol. When the blood sugar levels suddenly drops the brain, dependent on energy, triggers the release of adrenaline to feed the brain again. But excess adrenaline also causes people to overreact to stress situations.
You would be surprised to know how many people languish in jail because of murder committed under the influence of alcohol.
Your sensitivity to alcohol would indicate to me that you are hypoglycemic. This means you may be vulnerable to depression and anxiety attacks or anger outbursts. Thus alcohol would be a no no, for the rest of your life.
Hypoglycemia is caused by insulin resistance which means that you are not getting proper amounts of energy from normal food sources. This may cause brain energy starvation and when this happens adrenaline output is increased to convert sugar stores in the body back into glucose to feed the brain.
Read:
“Why hypoglycemics choose alcohol, as their major source of energy”
The nondrug treatment is going on a hypoglycemic diet.
You can test yourself with the NBI at our web site at:
www.hypoglycemia.asn.au
(Search web site). If you score high you are likely to have hypoglycemia. It can also be tested by a special medical test.
Once you go on the hypoglycemic diet you may experience that you calm down, become a little happier and relaxed, BUT you will need some help in overcoming a negative self-image, that can also trigger an overreaction against some perceived criticism.
We have a self-help psychotherapy course that can help you to overcome this problem.
It would be a good idea to do this with the help of a therapist.
I would also discuss this with your partner if the opportunity arises.