found this forum a help to express what I’m feeling, and help me find some self confidence even if it’s temporarily.
I like this forum...doesn’t make feel as alone with my problems, it’s comforting to know others experience, similar and or the same as me.
But back to the original reason I wrote this, after some help thanks to another member, and my wife, I think it’s time I tried to find something to focus on, especially seeing as I cannot work just yet.
As stupid as it sounds, I’ve always been interested in YouTube, I would happily curl up under my blankets, cuddling a pillow and binge watch YouTube, mainly gaming channels (Pewds, Marki, JSE etc). And now I’m actually tempted to give it a go myself, I struggle with public speaking and any form of communication, but this may help slightly...and who knows maybe I’ll even end up getting paid for it if I like it, I have some basic editing skills, and a decent iPad in which I can record, so I don’t see why I cannot try. It will give me something to work on while my wife is out partying, or at work, it’ll mean I’ll have something else to do, and strive for, I naturally hate my voice and the way I speak but...could it be even remotely possible that I can overcome this? I’m sick of this crippling anxiety from stopping me with every little thing, can barely call the doctors for myself, so this is big. I already feel abit panicked by the though of it and can hear my mum saying “don’t do anything that makes you anxious” but this actually may be good.... I have a supporting wife, and a awesome forum that I feel comfortable sharing how I feel, so I reckon I’ll be okay