Dealing with a micro managing boss!

**Posts:** 2 · by **dazeddave** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 7:04 am

Hey guys,

I need help with advice to deal with anger in the work place. My boss is your typical micro managing ego driven authoritarian individual who accepts all success and blames at any failure, yet makes all the decisions while disregarding any input from those around him. I am finding it increasingly difficult to manage my outbursts when dealing with him and its becoming a problem. I've tried all forms of ways in order to adjust his way of dealing but this only proves to last a few days of him being over the top nice and supportive before we end up back with the same situation. He will have meetings with me in which I'm instructed to tell clients varieties things, usually at the determent of the relationship I have built with my client. I will then object and state why I feel this would be a bad move. I am then berated as being not a team player and that he's my boos and I must obey him. I will then against my better judgment write what I have been told to the client. My manager who told me to do this will then write a message with all members of the firm attached chastising me for taking such steps. I have come to the end of my tether and taken steps to prepare a meeting with all managers to discuss this situation. I need help in how I should prepare myself so that I simply do not explode and turn into some nagging tattletale....I love my work and I can't simply change my job, so how do I get myself through this. Any advice would be much appreciated, but please only well thought out constructive advice please, I'm already at my whit’s end I don't need an entire forum of people kicking me while I'm down.

Thanks for the help.

**Posts:** 10113 · by **JuliusFawcett** » Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:21 am

Hey dude, I am going to tell you this in the most friendly way possible. This reads like two alpha males competing to be top of the pile.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 1:33 pm

dazeddave wrote:...I have come to the end of my tether and taken steps to prepare a meeting with all managers to discuss this situation. I need help in how I should prepare myself so that I simply do not explode and turn into some nagging tattletale....I love my work and I can't simply change my job, so how do I get myself through this.

The dynamics of each company are different, but generally speaking trying to get all managers together to discuss your manager is not a good idea. If I am a manager and I see the subordinate of one of my peers asking me to a group meeting, I am going to assume the subordinate will try this same tactic if they work for me and they take issue with my leadership. I would also see it as disrespectful to not support my peer, by showing up to the meeting.

There is the concept, praise in public, criticize in private. I understand your boss criticized in public via mass email, but responding now in kind by gathering managers is not a good move. Instead, your manager must have a boss right? Ask for a private meeting and some guidance from the boss of your boss. And, since there are other managers you should be meeting with them and expressing interest in their leadership and the area of the business they manage so that when an opportunity opens up they will consider you as a viable candidate to transfer and work for them. Your goal is to find a manager that will want to groom you for a management position.

The entire notion you will change the leadership style of your boss by calling a group meeting is off base. At best you will get temporary relief while at the same time damaging relationships with not only your boss, but several other managers.

**Posts:** 954 · by **Beloved** » Sun Sep 14, 2014 5:59 pm

I should have handled my OCD boss with an anonymous letter like this -

Dear xxxxx

Your anxiety disorder is ruining your life and if your symptoms are ego-syntonic then you are not even aware of it.
Get a doctor to immediately prescribe you a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor.

Regards,

A friend

**Posts:** 2 · by **BrianS** » Mon Nov 10, 2014 6:20 pm

How did it turn out?

**Posts:** 954 · by **Beloved** » Mon Nov 10, 2014 6:24 pm

I got another job and his section was split into two: people who could tolerate him stayed and those who couldn't got a new boss.

BTW, my guy brought in another supervisor at a meeting to intimidate me.
I waited a bit and then told my boss that I could bring assault charges against this other supervisor, if assault means you reasonably believe you are about to be hit.

Another option is to hire an employment attorney. This person will strike fear into bosses, who do not know admin law. But my OCD boss was already afraid of me.

Dealing with a micro managing boss!

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