You don't need confidence, you need to relate

**Posts:** 2 · by **turtleneck** » Tue Dec 03, 2019 5:43 pm

The best interactions in your life are not characterized by confidence but by comfort. When you are with the best people in your life, these moments are characterized by comfort and ease. When you see a three-year-old running around and saying hello to everyone, they do not do it out of confidence.
What you need to ask yourself is not how to gain more confidence to feel at ease but how you can change your perspective on others, how can you relate enough to realize you don’t need any confidence.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Tue Dec 03, 2019 7:10 pm

turtleneck wrote:The best interactions in your life are not characterized by confidence but by comfort.

Why? What makes an interaction that is comfortable necessarily "the best"?

**Posts:** 2 · by **turtleneck** » Tue Dec 03, 2019 7:50 pm

This is a post about meeting new people. I mean to say that I feel that for a while I was looking to get more confident until I realized that "how much confidence I need to feel" depends on how I view others. My "best" interactions, [by this I meant my interaction with the closest people in my life] are not characterized by a sense of confidence but by a sense of comfort. Therefore when meeting new people, I realized I should not aim to feel confident but comfortable and that can only happen if I challenge my perspective on others until I can relate to people as human first.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Tue Dec 03, 2019 8:25 pm

So whenever you meet a new person you wish there to be no discomfort, same as a person you are familiar with? Is that your expectation/goal?

Or do accept that when meeting a stranger a reasonable degree of discomfort is healthy/productive/natural?

**Posts:** 25 · by **TMT** » Tue Apr 28, 2020 10:12 am

I read somewhere that one seeks power to cause harm if not love is enough, I seem to relate comfort with love and confidence with power.
However the world is not fair and would exploit love to anarchy, that's why one needs a dose of both to be able to stay at peace.

You don't need confidence, you need to relate

#1

#2

#3

#4

Main Menu

Relationship Resources

Recent posts

Active topics

Contact Us