i'm 17 years old, educated, girl. About a year ago i came back from a year abroad which did not in any way apply to my expectations. I was alone a lot, felt like my opinion did not matter and i was logistically not able to leave the house a lot. My host family was always working, the (also working) son in his 20s molested me, although it was 'only' through text messages my 15 year old self was disturbed. When i came back to my home country i was living in a bliss for a few weeks, found new friends, new hobbies, was (and still am) good at school. the thing is, i have moderate depression. I always tell myself that no one could understand me, that it's no use trying to tell anyone. I told my best guy friend, he was very helpful and supportive until he had a girlfriend and doesn't have time for me anymore, and one of my girl friends also knows but i regret telling her because she i doing exactely what i did not want to. She is telling me that she knows i am strong but she is still there for me and so on, and it's making me so upset, i dont know why. i know that i am strong, i am not struggeling with self hate at all, i have confidence and she knows that.
slowly we're geting to my point: she doesnt really know me, i dont like showing people who i really am, because this generation is so superficail and i dont think they would care or understand.
rationally i know that i should get help, go to a therapist, but empirical i just dont feel comfortable opening up, i still want to help myself, but it's not woking anymore.
sorry for this mess,
i appreciate any thoughts!
self help or therapist, post year abroad depression
2 posts
• Page 1 of 1
by Robert Plamondon » Wed Mar 09, 2016 5:08 pm
Kathi,
Why not both? The two aren't mutually exclusive.
For self-help, I'm personally rather fond of self-hypnosis in general and Tad James' "Secret of Creating Your Future" in particular. It's been around forever (my copy is on audio cassette) and can be obtained inexpensively. The Hypnosis Downloads programs are also good. I bought tons of them before reaching the roll-your-own stage. But, for my money, any self-help that (a) doesn't rely on conscious analysis, (b) doesn't cost a fortune up front, and (c) doesn't ask you to buy into a specific belief system is worth a try.
Face-to-face therapy depends 100% on the therapist. Therapy has a high burnout rate, and a lot of burned-out therapists are still working. Find one who's still eager to get to the office every day. Positive reviews are helpful here, though few people actually leave positive reviews for therapists. Reviews that say, "She's very nice" are a weak indicator. Ones that say, "My problem went away" are better.
By the way, telling yourself that no one can understand you is basically a self-hypnotic suggestion to increase your isolation. I doubt that's what you want. You could use a more contextualized bit of self-talk, to the effect that some people respond badly to certain content, and their thick-headedness makes you want to hit them with a brick, so it's best to share certain content only with (a) people who can take it in stride or (b) people you enjoy wanting to hit with a brick. "The people in the know, know."
People who haven't been through rough experiences often fail to grasp what people who have are talking about, and survivors are always amazed at their shallowness. You'd think that anyone with a pulse could grasp, "I had a rough time abroad. It's great to be home, but I'm still shaken." But nooooo. Doesn't work that way.
Luckily? Sadly? There are many, many people who HAVE been through rough experiences and not only know what it's like, but what to say and do. In fact, one of the worst-kept secrets is that many therapists are drawn to becoming therapists after their own ghastly experiences, through a desire to help others. Not that they advertise this, but it means that there are definitely a lot of therapists who've been there.
Take care,
Robert
Why not both? The two aren't mutually exclusive.
For self-help, I'm personally rather fond of self-hypnosis in general and Tad James' "Secret of Creating Your Future" in particular. It's been around forever (my copy is on audio cassette) and can be obtained inexpensively. The Hypnosis Downloads programs are also good. I bought tons of them before reaching the roll-your-own stage. But, for my money, any self-help that (a) doesn't rely on conscious analysis, (b) doesn't cost a fortune up front, and (c) doesn't ask you to buy into a specific belief system is worth a try.
Face-to-face therapy depends 100% on the therapist. Therapy has a high burnout rate, and a lot of burned-out therapists are still working. Find one who's still eager to get to the office every day. Positive reviews are helpful here, though few people actually leave positive reviews for therapists. Reviews that say, "She's very nice" are a weak indicator. Ones that say, "My problem went away" are better.
By the way, telling yourself that no one can understand you is basically a self-hypnotic suggestion to increase your isolation. I doubt that's what you want. You could use a more contextualized bit of self-talk, to the effect that some people respond badly to certain content, and their thick-headedness makes you want to hit them with a brick, so it's best to share certain content only with (a) people who can take it in stride or (b) people you enjoy wanting to hit with a brick. "The people in the know, know."
People who haven't been through rough experiences often fail to grasp what people who have are talking about, and survivors are always amazed at their shallowness. You'd think that anyone with a pulse could grasp, "I had a rough time abroad. It's great to be home, but I'm still shaken." But nooooo. Doesn't work that way.
Luckily? Sadly? There are many, many people who HAVE been through rough experiences and not only know what it's like, but what to say and do. In fact, one of the worst-kept secrets is that many therapists are drawn to becoming therapists after their own ghastly experiences, through a desire to help others. Not that they advertise this, but it means that there are definitely a lot of therapists who've been there.
Take care,
Robert
- Robert Plamondon
- Junior Member
- Posts: 54
- Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 2:15 am
- Location: Blodgett, Oregon
- Likes Received: 2
2 posts
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