Can you offer advice?

Hi there,

Since your first speech was a big success. You may feel pressured and want to do better in your next speech. This in fact makes you more nervous. My friend, try to relax and free yourself. When you focus on delivering an important message to your audience, you will feel less nervous and make a great speech.

Many tools for phobias & fears including phobia model. you imagine being on stage from a distance and then reverse the scene as if you are watching a video of your self.Reverse the action of video as if rewind the video. do it quickly and successively. Another tool is future pace.

Don't mind me, I just typed up a long winded response, my phone rang, and I clicked on the X and wiped the whole thing out.

It was a work of art. SO if this response does not merit that rating, just imagine it being better when it came from the heart and not from me trying to recall the memory of it.

Anyway, here goes.

For me, my solution came about from me trying to deal with panic attacks.

I noticed one common factor in my public speaking fiascos. They all went pretty much the same whenever I had a bad speech.

The speech would start out okay, but at some point I would go into a panic attack. I didn't know it was a panic attack at the time, all I knew was the following would happen.

My mind would go into some kind of chatter mode where I can't even hear myself think. I didn't even know what the voices were. I would end up looking like an idiot which only made the voices louder. Eventually I would completely shut down and look like a total idiot, and fear would overcome me to a point where I'm shaking in front of the whole class, audience, whatever.

It didn't matter if it was a crowd of 5,000 or a room with 5-10 people. Basically the same effect.

I got so fed up with this, I got tired of just saying, "I'm no good at public speaking, it makes me nervous". I know a lot of people were sympathetic of my situation and told me it was perfectly normal, some people just have trouble with it, and it's okay.

Well, their sympathy didn't help. My disgust with myself did. I became determined to crack this nut.

I started to pay attention to the voices. They sounded a lot like playback of every person who ever told me I was a worthless idiot, every embarrassing situation where I failed and someone took pride and enjoyment in belittling me for their own amusement.

That would set off a spark of fear, which would shake my confidence, making me nervous, thinking of past failures and thinking my current speaking situation would end up in failure. That fear of failure and nervousness would cause my heart to race in panic. That panic would result in me turning red or pale white. People would notice the change in color or the expression of fear in my face, and their expressions would change as a result, alerting me that they can see me panicking. Knowing that people could see me panic sent me into more panic that I look like a fool. As my panic rises, I became more and more aware that they can see me breaking down. The more I became the focus of attention and the more I realized they saw me as an utter fool as a result of being scared of them seeing me as an utter fool, the more things would escalate until I pretty much felt like crying. Well, crying in front of a group of people REALLY makes me look like a fool, so pretty much at some point someone steps in and saves me, or I pretty much run out of the room screaming.

By analyzing the steps and progression, I was able to identify it as a panic attack. I think google helped me as I typed in pieces of the progressive dismantling of self, to identify it as a panic attack.

From there, I studied ways of dealing with panic attack.

By some weird blessing, the following happened.

I now had the tools to deal with a panic attack when it occurs. I was assuming it would occur since I was so consistent at doing so.

FYI, I was in a leadership program where every two weeks I stood in front of a group of people and effectively broke down while doing so the first 5 times. Between the 5th fiasco and 6th speech, I studied the panic attack tools.

So, knowing a speech was coming, I figured the best way to see if the tools work is to ensure I have a panic attack by going into the speech totally unprepared. I found out that was the way for sure to invoke fear of public speaking, so I figured, "Why not."

The day came, I volunteered to speak first. The group responded in shock. Their attention was glued to me since this was totally unexpected.

I began my speech with the announcement, "I have no idea about the topic because I did not study. But this was by choice. You will see what I mean shortly." I then began to fumble and talk about the topic. I felt my heart race quicken, the first sign of a panic attack starting. From there, I applied the techniques, calmed myself down and was able to be myself, and engage the audience, winging it through my presentation. They found it fun and entertaining.

So the weird thing I discovered was that by going into a situation which I would normally panic, empowered with tools, I felt a sense of confidence knowing that if an attack occurs, I would be able to handle it. This further gave me a sense of calm which I apparently needed to best deliver my speeches.

Here are a few tips which helped me...

Being Aware When A Panic Attack Is Mounting (detect a rise in heart rate, it occurs before blushing)

Calming Down My Heart Rate (remember by "in 4, hold for 2, out 6")
1) Take a deep breath, inhaling slowly for a count of 1, 2, 3, 4
2) Hold breath for a slow count of 1, 2
3) Release breath, exhaling slowly for a count of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Repeating To Myself, "Noone has ever died of a panic attack. They happen to everyone."

If The Attack Goes On Anyway, I take comfort in knowing it will pass if I just let it wash over me and pass. That way it lasts for a very short time.

Best advice I can give is to practice speaking in front of others. The more you do this the more confident you'll feel when you step on stage. And remember, you appear more confident than you feel... just know that when you step on stage and it will help!