Invasion of privacy coming back to haunt me?

came out of nowhere
My brain is literally making me think it’s all going wrong....
I get so frustrated because I know how I want to be but I can’t be like that because my brain makes me feel like I’m being fake and then a feeling of dread can hit me when I think of him it’s horrible that your through can do this to someone ...
i remembered something the other day that I pushed right to the back of my mind.
It comes up every now and again and I push it straight back again.
A couple of years ago a member of my family invaded my privacy in a major way and it was very intrustive and embarrassing and shameful and just horrible ...
Could this have contributed to this sudden anxiety because it makes no sense to me how I could feel this way about someone I love so very much...
Could me pushing this away for some long and refusing to deal with it and not tell anyone cause this anxiety?
I have felt the urge the past few days to tell my boyfriend because I know I can talk to him about anything and he has been amazing this whole time, he really is one in a million , I have tried to tell him but the words just won’t come out I’m so scared.
Please anyone’s advice is welcome
Leah09