self control issue with my cat

It's normal for a cat to come into a new home jumpy and scared. It takes a day or two of hiding behind the sofa before they begin to explore and settle. She may have been abused before you took her in but she's certainly being abused now. The cat did not force you to become violent; that's on you.

Please contact a cat rescue organization right away. They'll make sure her next owner has the time, patience, knowledge and willingness to care for a high-maintenance pet.

Dear Slfcntrlfir,

Yes, my friend Candid is right. You need to turn over this Persian Cat to Rescue, and maybe not so much for the Cat but for your own Sake. It seems for the first time in your life you are developing a Lust for the Infliction of Pain and Torment. You really do not want to find out how far you can go with that, do you? I hope that maybe it is just something about you and Persians. I've had a lot of cats. I love cats. But, honestly, I would NOT ever want a Persian. They just give me the creeps. So maybe your Lust for Torture will subside once you get rid of One Particular Kind of Cat. I hope so.

Yet there have been other posters who have come to us with stories about an escalating desire for inflicting pain on animals... well, it starts with Animals. It is always very troubling. This Page is About Anger, and I know how to deal with That, but this Yearning For Horror is Dark, Twisted and Mysterious and I really don't know what to do with it.

Please if you Find Out what is going on, and Somebody Can Help you, and you are Helped, please come back and clue us in on it. But for right now, we can only help the poor creepy Cat.

Thanks both of you for your replies, I appreciate your willing to help the cat & and of course me in the process…
However, you will forgive me if I am not convinced, Candid assumed that am inexperienced & uncommitted although I have already mentioned that am taking care two other cats, the fact that am dealing with this issue for two months now is yet another evidence about my determination.
Leo Volont I totally understand your point, and I have to say you are correct, but don’t you think that running away of the problem, by removing the reasons let’s say, is not the correct way!
I have been smoking for 15 years & when I decided to quit, I did it with five sealed cigarette packs in front of me, this raised the challenge and helped me overcome my addiction by training myself to ignore although its availability, am now 4 years smoke free, thanks to this method.
I was giving your words a thought and I am totally convinced that I can & will overcome this occurrence. In other words, if what you say is true, then I need the cat – this cat – to cure me.
Am not running away from the problem, I love this cat and am going to give her the life of comfort she deserve! Am dedicated to that.
I will update you in the next 15 days.
Thanks again for your willingness to help

slfctrlflr wrote: Candid assumed that am inexperienced & uncommitted although I have already mentioned that am taking care two other cats

No, I didn't. I took note that you had two other cats. However, I also knew this isn't a thread about one difficult cat, but about an underlying issue: your anger. And for me: where that started. You can't be expected to know I have a particular interest in early childhood adversity and its ramifications in later life.

I need the cat – this cat – to cure me.

You are four years smoke-free. It's long out of your system. A third cat isn't going to make any difference -- and I don't think that's what a cat is for. No doubt you've heard or read jocular stories about an angry person: "He went home, kicked the cat, stubbed his toe, drank five pints and went to bed."

If the cat could speak, do you think she'd be just fine with her role in your life?

Dear Slfctrlflr

Okay. I understand your point which is, and correct me if I am wrong, that your Problem seems so reprehensible to even yourself that you are determined to eradicate it from your Character. That is a Good Thing. And I believe I can help you, as I had a few days to think about your case.

I have 4 cats myself (and many more throughout my long life) and I know that if I am frustrated about something or more than ordinarily under stress then it is easy to be short tempered with a Kitty that is being bothersome or just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. When we Snap like that it is because the Stresses we are under have generated a kind of Slow Leak of Adrenaline which can easily be ‘triggered’ into a full scale Adrenaline Rush. If you read a number of my Posts you will see that I talk often about Adrenaline. When we are under the Influence of an Adrenaline Rush our Will is diverted from the Brains Higher Functions and descends into Lower Levels of the Brain that are similar to those of many other Mammals, which explains why people believe that they Lose Control over their Actions. When our Actions are being propelled along by these Lower Faculties, aggression may be intense and prolonged – as though one can’t Stop. I was thinking that when you said you were ‘Beginning to Like’ abusing your poor kitty, that I could take that to mean that you noticed that you felt Inwardly Compelled to Continue the Abuse and had no desire to Stop, that is that you were Relating to your Adrenaline Personality and seeing that as an Expression or you True Self (an understandable mistake). Of course, Adrenaline Frenzies do not last forever – sheer exhaustion often brings them to a close, or the Adrenal Glands simply run out of Angry Juice. But when your Personality returns to your Higher Functions, then one is appalled at what has just transpired.
Now, yes, you were not Complaining about Full Scale Rage Attacks, and so we are not talking about the Highest Intensity Level of Adrenaline Rushes. But Adrenaline at some significant level IS involved. What you need to Learn is what the Very First Sign of an Adrenaline Rush is. I will tell you – your Jaw Muscles tense up and you Clench your Teeth. Why is that? It seems that the Jaw Muscles are the most closely situated between the Blood Supplies to the Adrenal Glands and the Nerve Impulses from the Brain. Now, Once you feel your Teeth Clench (one lady who wrote in says she simply experiences her “mouth closing”) simply Unclench Your Teeth with the Accompanying Conscious Thought that you wish to Shot Down the immanent Adrenaline Rush. And that is what happens. One stays Calm. With my 4 Kitties I often experience my Jaw Muscles tighten because some naughty thing they do, but by Catching the Rush as soon as it is beginning to start and relaxing that Reflex, I am consistently able to stay calm. Many posters have written in saying that This Advice works.

But it is essential to Act Quickly. Most Angry People report that Out of Control Anger ratchets up amazingly fast – they use words like ‘suddenly’ and “I just exploded”. So you do not have any time to just Think About It. As soon as you feel that first hint of Adrenaline you need to respond instantaneously with your Relax Command. Letting it go even another full second might be long enough for the Adrenaline Process to Drop your Will into the Lower Animal Functions where you simply are beyond being able to fully control yourself.

Yes, if you are familiar with what seem like Full Blown Rage Episodes, you would noticed that there still seem to be Inhibitions at work. Nearly always Property Damage and Physical Violence are not as extensive as they could possibly have been. I guess that even when we are acting out of Pure Animal Instinct that we must appreciate that even Animals have their Limits on what they will and will not do.

You know you can Practice with Adrenaline so that you know what this Teeth Clenching Phenomena feels like so you can get used to Instantly Relaxing it. I used to practice by Stabbing my Hand with a Pin, but soon learned that just taking up a Pin and getting ready to Stab my hand is enough to do the trick.

Also, I have been hearing a lot lately about Heart Coherence – that if you breath deeply and imagine that it is the Heart Itself that is breathing in and out, that it somehow has a Calming Effect. I don’t fully understand the Concept, as at this stage of my research I have only watched a number of You Tube Videos which really aren’t produced with the Intellectual Demographic in mind. But I am looking around for something that I can Read that more fully explains the principle. But the general points seem to be that the Heart has Neural Centers and Pathways, and that it seems that the Heart Sends More Neural Messages TO the Brain than what it receives FROM the Brain. And then apparently by focusing on the Heart, we are in effect encouraging our Brain, in regards to both its Higher Functions and the Lower Animal Functions, to pay closer heed to the Messages coming from the Heart. Now, why is the Heart suddenly so Smart? Well, what they say is the Heart’s Special Talent is is Empathy – that Hearts respond to other Hearts through a kind of Field Effect – that the Sixth Sense may be a Faculty of the Heart and not the Mind. If we act solely from the Brain then we are being swayed by selfishness of all kinds and degrees which often leads to feelings of being threatened which brings on all the negativity that leads to Anger. But Thinking from the Heart takes us beyond our selves and we begin to feel what those around us feel (which can be a problem in itself, couldn’t it?) and so we are certainly less likely to act out negatively toward them.