Hello...
there is something with me that really made me nervous...its about my attraction with another sex...i am male, 20 years old and usually male sex must be attracted by female sex...which im not...and i get attracted with some people who are male....as i know, i am healthy, i grew up in a good family, my father and mother care about me alot, so i dont see anything wrong with parents in my life...
but as i remember from when i can(child hood) i really were curious about some type of men...i cannot say im gay because there are rare type of them who can attract me like hell...other men ,i strongly have no emotions and am fully normal and dont think of being anything more than friends and it is healthy...and i see it very very nasty to actually see them naked.
women, i can say i like them alot more than men but less than those type of men who i get attracted to...i can say i some times get attracted (in very low pressure) and it lasts maybe for some hours and goes away...i can see myself have sex life with them (no nasty feelings) but i know that i wont get satisfied myself from having sex with them....
those type of men which i told ya, i can have sex and really really enjoy...which is nasty for others i know but not for me...
its really killing me, i wanna be normal, i hate it to see im not attracted to women mostly because of my religion and also what ever i see (good family, nature like animals, and etc) every thing is telling me to be normal and have the other sex partner...i have some experiences in falling in love with some men like my teachers or actors and that lasted for months and even half of year or a year....and yet its not fully passed but its not strong anymore...
how can i be normal?and should i be normal?will it cause mentally damage?
if it is not normal, i really like to fight with it, and the reason that i didnt do it was that i was afraid of hurting myself....thanks.