Define love

Unconditional acceptance at all events

Shadow111 wrote:An advanced connection between two people so strong that they see perfection through each others flaws- on a deeper level than anybody else near them can feel.

I think this sums it up for me the best so far.

Sense of direction your life inherits due to special someone's presence in ur life.

Zuriel wrote:Well, the definition I have stumbled across is something I do not think exists in people. I am referring to "unconditional acceptance". It's interesting how all of the negative emotion in life such as fear and greed determine the boundaries for what "love", a positive emotion, can truly be.

I agree with you on a few points:
1. Love is based on the lover
2. Nobody's perfect, (nor does anyone know what's the ultimate best), so nobody is capable of unconditional acceptance/love (I know - parents seem to be, but they love based on the condition that it's their child).
3. Negative emotions are part of the search for love...

My definition of love: searching & striving for what is best for oneself & others through trial & error; the motivation behind everything we do.

Love is a state of mind, not relate to an external source (person, object...) Love is a state you can only experience... as much as we could try to define it intellectually, it is an experience, when you experience happiness it is a different flavor inside from love, peace, compassion, etc....when you feel love from someone, do you feel coming from outside toward you? no, the feeling start within yourself, the oustide is just a trigger to the inside state...when someone irradiate Love from within, others will resonnate to it, it's like harmonic resonance, a vibration will trigger the same vibration. I suggest trying to feel from inside what is Love instead of trying to find the answer outside...you could be surprise and discover that this unlimmited source is always availble if you pay attention inside and syntonise with this Love vibration.....

"the noun" is a gift and it ends for me when it leaves my hand or my lips.

For most people, "the noun" is an exchange. I.e., I "the noun" you because you "the noun" me. This is not "the noun", this is a business deal and like any business deal, there are transaction costs and so the relationship goes bankrupt over time. Dependtards define love this way since they are dependent upon others for all of their approval.

Truth is the measure of one's love. Unexpressed is unrealized and if unrealized, it was never a part of reality.

I want to expand on that a bit since it is probably the best question ever asked on this forum. To hell with the rules, I am going to use the word love rather than "the noun".



Love is a gift, not an exchange. When two people love each other in this way, the sum total of their love is greater than the two parts.

Conversely, most people think love is "I love you because you love me." That is an exchange or business deal and they are trying to get more out than they put in and so the relationship goes bankrupt over time.

You will truly know what love is when you find out that your spouse had an affair and your reaction is, "that is just more love for someone that I love." If your love is an exchange, you see it as someone else taking what you get from your spouse. Very few people know what love is or experience it in this life.

Most psychology problems result from a person in survival mode when it comes to love. They care more about what others think of them than what they think of themselves. You could replace the word "think" with the word "love" in that last sentence.

Once completely dependent on others for their self esteem and love, their relationships are controlled by others and when they love, they only give love in order to get love and the relationship quickly goes bankrupt. Their love cannot exist without a host and as such they are parasitic. Bad parasites destroy the host and thus the relationship and good parasites only weaken the host and have a weak relationship. Most people are good parasites when it comes to love.

Love is a gift and it ends for me when it leaves my hand or my lips. It seeks nothing in return. That statement goes beyond most people's ability to love.

quark2 wrote:...Most psychology problems result from a person in survival mode when it comes to love. They care more about what others think of them than what they think of themselves. You could replace the word "think" with the word "love" in that last sentence...

Love is a gift and it ends for me when it leaves my hand or my lips. It seeks nothing in return. That statement goes beyond most people's ability to love.

Hi Quark,
Thanks for your deep thoughts - I especially resonated with this. ^
I agree, it is a profound question to consider.
To love without any expectations sounds wonderful, but I wonder if it's realistic. It seems that the game of "tit for tat" reciprocity is so ingrained in us. Still, this unconditional love is surely something to strive to be.

I agree with things everyone has been saying I think though, there are so many ways to describe love. I mean how can we describe it? Understanding love and especially "true love" as they call it, is not a simple thing to do. Some people claim to be in love, yet they are together for a year and then break up. I do believe in love of coarse though and I think love would mean maybe different things for each person. Each relationship is different.

The way I see love, is seeing a person for who they really are and accepting everything about them. Having trust and being honest. Feeling comfortable with them and knowing you can open up to them and freely expressing opinions without worrying. A feeling of absolute content and happiness knowing you have them. The thought of living without them, unbearable.

Pure love is born from the ideas of Plato and revived by Shakespear, West's equivalent of Eastern spirituality and mysticism in the attempt to answer the life's big questions.

fromtheheart wrote:...There are many ways to describe love...
The way I see love, is seeing a person for who they really are and accepting everything about them. Having trust and being honest. Feeling comfortable with them and knowing you can open up to them and freely expressing opinions without worrying. A feeling of absolute content and happiness knowing you have them. The thought of living without them, unbearable.

Well put & beautiful!
"Perhaps Love": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YnfCH7LNcM

Vijay arun -
It seems the heart of most religions & theatre is love.

The ancient Romans and Greeks were shame cultures like the many oriental cultures.Honor, shame were the top priorities(suicides were accepted socially and even encouraged on some occasions).It is only the renaissance and christian driven modern west that condemns suicide vehemently and promotes the concept of romantic love and the Hollywood and other media keeps the tradition alive.

You can't explain love in terms that is so objective.

Let's try something different... what's love.

Do you remember your first crush and how it fell all around you and nothing made sense?

I knew a girl...she had dark eyes like me and long hair down to her waste... she was art class and we had to make a picture of her... and, I made the best picture... and it was garbage! According to the art teacher...

Then, I knew another girl with drk eyes and her hair was to her shoulder blades. I was staring (eyeing) whatever... and she condemned me with such explacitives I can't remember from such a beauty... such words form such a beautiful girl.

You have just gone through a crush!

So, what is love? It's different. The eyes meet and suddenly everything is right... at that moment! She keeps finding you... you keep watching her...until you start talking.... and, she takes everything in.... while you hold your breath... and, she gives you stuff.. about herself...

This stuff make any sense..? Shes talking about other girls and how they see her... and... what?

Love is two way street...you give her something... and herstuff comes back...her love... some things should know? This love has interesting thigs... guys should know this like the back of their hands...I had too...so no excuse for you...though I can't understand why am dicorced...

Anyways... girls 101:

Time to be educated. Ladies are mysterious... so learn about what they think. Ladies can her information... you take it literally... because your are logical... but she is something else.

You can build a shole addition to the house... make it plumb... brick lay fireplace.. put in a woood burning stove... open it up for nice fire and take her infront of it and warm yourselves to it.... this guy stuff.

What are they thinking? They love all that.. and find it great... as long as there is nik-nacs... and flowers and stufff.

You shaking your head...whjy? It's time guys to understand ladies!

Guys... you have the girlfriend... and, when is she going to ask you what clothes go with what? Guys! You can paint... it's not that hard!

The girl dark hair... What does she want to get a jog... or impress her friends? Job= Dark top with dark hair... in a french braid... out of the way... she must look so professional they can't take no for an answer...yet, she is going to social gathering to show girls how she looks? Light top with dark hair shows her locks good... with a dark skirt... and if she can't decide on the shoes... burgandy... goes with everything!

See now! You are very worth while to her. Look at her and see what she asks of her clothing?

Come on guys? If can put up drywall, paint it, create a fireplace and put her right in front of it for sex... you can pick out girls clothing! It's not that hard...think colrs... what brings her out! Do you want her to go in job interview with her beautiful locks... Yikes... no... put them away and put on that ugly business suite... she gets the job...when she comes home... amke her take it off into a lighter top for dark hair...yikes

Dress your women.. accordingly...

Next, guys... Ladies never say what they mean... they have been spending their whole lives... trying to fake out other girls... so they can say one thing and mean another. Watch the girls expressions... see everything they don;t say... if can do that... you better than me...

Lastly, anything a girl does has meaning! Completely... This girl says, "I hate my hair and I am going cut it all off because hate dealing with...so deal with it...guy?"

Guys... this girl is tired of doing herself. She is her own enemy in the mirror. Yet, guys see her differently? You love her hair. You don't want that... do you!

Don't fall for that?

The girl is her own worst enemy. And, you are what she needs to see...

Girls... Guys 101... Ok.. your hair... believe it or not he loves your hair completely. Wet, dry, bed head... he loves it. I can go on forever on this subject. Guys love your hair... dry, bed head, completley wedt... girls don't fall for it... they love it!

So...If they can make addition to house and make a fireplace and warm up to you nice and cozy...why can't they do hair? Men have something you always want. They good with their hands... so make them work for living. So make them do your hair. Don;t destory it? Make them take take care of it.

Hold on.. I'm not done yet?

Guys...never take that for grantite...it means alot to her and you...so what am I tlaking about.

I know this is love... but, I am putting down stuff that equals love to guys so they understand...

Girls...how many time have changedd youhairstyle and wonder why the girl has fit? Maybe it's change.

Hair 101 for guys and girls:

Let's take an example. A psychology ecample?

Do you remember when you were 3 years old... No... but there something you would do at that point in time. And, this goes into adulthood! It does!

YOu are 3 years old and given a two pictures. One is a girl with cropped hair...like a guy, and she is wearing a tank top and jeans with sneakers.

The next picture is a guy with kilt and long hair down to his shoulders...

What would the 3 year old point to the pictures to ifdentify a boy or girl.

Almost everytime... they would point to the kilted, long haired guy as girl...and the "actual" girl as guy!

What does that say to us as we look as grownups to people. The "Benny Hill" definition says the girl is boy... and the boy is girl. The 3 year olds do it all the time. So what does that mean for us? We look for defintion of girl and boy.

So why do guys love long hair on girls... it;s the little boy and their sexuality kicking in. When your in your twenties... we can see other things, like womans walk...BOOM.. girl!

But, always remember the little boy!

This is where hair comes in for ladies...want to get their attention? Wash your hair... Do one better? MAke them do it.

Owww... they will him and haw about it... the macho facade coming in.... but... don't be fooled. They are always watching! So, if guys are watching... girl's remember? Guys are good with their hands. If they can create stuff... they can do hair.

Like I said, "himm and haw." don't fall for that! MAke them do you long hair. (OK, I can create a post all for hair care for guys for women. I know so much about this stuff I can create an article...? It's getting to long

Guys you can show Ladies how much their hair is worth to you... And, keep it nice and long. Guys... you are governer of this!

WHy?

Back to love...

Love is a two way street. I have been trying to show the guys this one lane... which should equal the lane you are giving ladies.

each of you should be so much friends that ou can not stop being best fEiends... and all the other stuff like on top of pyamid... All this stuff is showing you all the stuff you need for friendship. everything I put down should help a guy... women should see this...now you have friendship...in such a way that nothing is left out! Nothing is left from your lives...especially womens lives...taken very seriously for guys.

Ladies spend there lives trying to figure out people...even guys... so they have advantage...but, guys these basics for a long lasting loving relationship...

Once do these you have all the friendship material...for the girl is you best complete friend. Now bring in the fact you are of opposite sex... it comes natural...and very special with all the stuff I said...

See? Try it! You will like it!

Sparrowhawk wrote:Time to be educated. Ladies are mysterious... so learn about what they think. Ladies can her information... you take it literally... because your are logical... but she is something else. ...

lol Thanks, Sparrowhawk, I needed that laugh!
Yes, she is something else... It's not that we're illogical, just that we think differently than you guys...
Mark Gungor - Men's Brain Women's Brain: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BxckAMaTDc

Next, guys... Ladies never say what they mean... they have been spending their whole lives... trying to fake out other girls... so they can say one thing and mean another. Watch the girls expressions... see everything they don;t say... if can do that... you better than me...

Yes, that is a good clue. If I could give 1 little piece of advice to men about women... is:
LISTEN & pay attention to her.
To really listen & pay attention, develop self-awareness (yet not self-centeredness), to express empathy.

Oh, & I liked what you mentioned about friendship being like the base of the relationship pyramid.
The hair thing... well I'd say womens' hair takes much more work. Men simply need to get it wet, & brush some gel into it. And guys that don't have hair - forget the tupe - you likely look better without it.

I'm curious, what is the most important advice you'd give to women, regarding men?