Can eating disorders just go away by themselves? I know it sounds naive and maybe a little too hopeful considering the extensive therapy people usually need but it used to be the sole focus of my life and now I just don't care that much.
Back when I was diagnosed I was measuring foods, counting calories, weighing myself up to 10 times a day and became obsessed with every intricate detail of weight loss. I learnt every mathematic formula and spent my life working out new diets, educating myself on nutrition/exercise, everything. I was in pain every day from fasting, restricting, binging, purging and over-exercising. I used to feel extreme emotions based on how much I weighed that day and how much I was eating. I went from being ecstatic one day to contemplating suicide the next. But now for some reason I just don't feel the absolute NEED to do it anymore. Occasionally I purposely overexercise or undereat and I still purge every so often but I think now it's more of a substitute for cutting myself as it's easier to hide than cuts and bruises all over my body.
Until a week ago I was struggling with binging daily, but I am currently taking a diet pill that suppresses my appetite, which has helped an enormous amount - no binging, no purging, just eating healthy and unprocessed foods in moderate amounts. Problem is it also makes me dizzy, kills my energy and gives me chest pains. I can't sleep yet I'm tired all the time, and almost all day I feel like I'm about to vomit. I know all the potentially fatal hazards of taking this particular drug but I just don't care. I can't stand my body and almost always wear baggy clothes to cover how disgusting I am, but aren't most people overly concious about their looks? And people without eating disorders do dangerous things to lose weight too - yo-yo dieting, surgery, smoking etc.... I can't tell whats normal and what isn't, and I don't want to be treated for something that I don't even have.
So what do I do?