Treating fiance like mom

Postby KoalaLove » Sun Aug 15, 2021 9:11 pm

We are a couple who ve been together for a year and a half. We are living together and get a long pretty well. There is one unique thing about us. For more than a year we started to develop kind of parent-child relationship, usually with a lot of baby talking. We are calling ourselfs mum and baby alternately, so the future husband became a mother too for his baby future wife. We never considered that as an issue until now. We don't know if it could cause low libido issue for her.
She loves me deeply, feels safe and happy with me, but for a couple of months she didn't feel any physical desire for things like long kissing or sexual activities, She loves to cuddle and show a lot of affection. She gets turned off by thinking of any kinds of sexual activities with anyone. We still want to have a family with lots of children.
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Aug 16, 2021 3:39 am

KoalaLove wrote: We don't know if it could cause low libido issue for her.
She loves me deeply, feels safe and happy with me, but for a couple of months she didn't feel any physical desire for things like long kissing or sexual activities, She loves to cuddle and show a lot of affection. She gets turned off by thinking of any kinds of sexual activities with anyone. We still want to have a family with lots of children.


It sounds like you do anything she wants. This can lower libido.

The husband is not a “mother too”. A husband is a father.
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#2

Postby tokeless » Mon Aug 16, 2021 8:06 am

This kind of thing is often a feature in relationships after having children. It usually effects males who see their sexual partner become a mother... their breasts are no longer sexual objects but nurturers and belong to the child now. This changed how they see their lover as a mother. Who would want to have sex with someone they see as a mother? I think in your situation has gone from being a quirky thing to something more ingrained and perhaps as you both see each other as 'mothers', the sexual desire or urge has been impacted. You both need to discuss this and end this dynamic as it's become unhealthy I guess.
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