Frustrated, angry, immature

Hi! I'm not sure if I should be writing about someone else other than myself because I realize that personality issues are only in one's own ability to modify, but I thought I'd give it a shot in hopes to get some advice on how to get through to my brother.

My brother and I have had a very complicated hectic life; probably not the hardest, but chaotic, for sure.

This is slightly embarrassing because I'm speaking of my brother who is 25 now. My brother and I received some verbal and emotional abuse when we were younger by my father (who also had a hard life with a deceased mother and father at a young age, and a sister with whom she stopped talking; I've never met her); my dad was very controlling and had a very short temper. When he was mad at us, sometimes he would just stop talking to us for a couple of days and sometimes we never even knew what we did wrong. My brother was born premature,and so had some coordination issues that had to be attended, he had trouble concentrating. My dad has always had a very big focus in school, and he wanted to push my brother harder so that he would succeed.. but he wasn't very nice about it. He would be very abusive and would have my brother doing homework and such for a lot of hours. He would even wake him up around 4-5am sometimes to do so.. and he would hit him behind my mom's back (though in Mexico it's not a big deal to hit/spank your children and I got some spanking myself, it's the fact that he did it behind my mom's back what we found twisted). My dad could also be very funny, but we were very afraid of saying something to upset him, or to oppose his decision. My mom and dad would have a lot of fights because we used to tell my mom that we didn't want to go or do that certain something my dad wanted us to do, but we didn't dare tell him, and he denied it, because we didn't tell him.
My point is that my brother received a more harsh treatment from my dad.

We moved to the U.S. because of my dad's company, and here things got complicated as well. My mom and I wanted to go back to our home, my brother didn't though. My dad decided that we weren't anymore because our city was then one of the most dangerous in the world (though now the whole country is just plain..hell). We moved within the country quite a bit and finally settled for a bit in California.. here, he decided to leave us here and he went back. My brother and I struggled with SoCal public schools (anyone who knows how they are, they may understand) and with our school-proper English..not enough to feel comfortable to socialize, already being shy on top of that. A couple years later my mom found out that my dad was cheating on her and that was a terrible shock for all of us. I personally have fought the feeling and thought that he wanted to get rid of us so that he could do whatever he wanted (but it angered me that he had to leave us in a whole different country..because i never wanted to stay).

I think that not having him around so suddenly also made us lose balance.. my dad never let us just do nothing for a minute. My brother and I were always at school or some sort of class or some event or SOMETHING. Suddenly without him telling us what to do.. I think that we didn't know what to do with ourselves. And we were comfortable enough to be rebellious with my mom (poor her ]: )

My brother has had more struggle than I have in some aspects... When we were younger we were almost inseparable. He was still the obnoxious and prankster brother and I was the yelling whiny sister, but he was a good boy. When he entered high school he was unbearable..he had the worst tempter. Even saying "hi" to him would literally infuriate him. I got in so many fights with him where we even broke our apt's window once. After that, we literally stopped talking for a year! even though we lived under the same roof.. i would cry myself to sleep a lot.

We moved states again, this time my dad joined us and more family drama. My dad quit his job (which ended very bad) and invested money on things that ended up having him lose most of his money. We all struggled. Finally, we lost our house, and my parents separated officially. Everyone but my dad came back to California and he returned to Mexico.

After about a year, my brother moved on his own far away for a couple of years, but it didn't work out for him so he came back. My brother came back very willing and helpful and relatively nice. After some time, he bought an Xbox and he would NOT get off it... he would start raging..horribly. I don't remember if his horrible attitude and temper started before or after that. He gets mad about absolutely everything! You cannot say anything to him because he will say something nasty back, even something that has nothing to do with him..he will make it into "i know everything, you know nothing" kind of convo. I just wanted to have normal conversations with him.. daily talks..a normal relationship with my brother. I can't hug him because he will push me away and he is so inconsiderate! He makes stupid excuses for not doing anything, and he wants to seem super independent, but he will ask my mom for money anyway. He will spend his money on the most trivial things and instead of giving my mom part of his check like they had agreed, he will ask her for money and to take him everywhere. If he doesn't have his way, he will throw a sissy-fit. Everything he does is almost senseless and seems like he does it to piss us off. He is very nice to other people but when it comes to us... He is like a grown child.

From what I can see when he interacts with other people, is that he is extremely shy and sort of awkward, and has..almost no friends at all. He doesn't go out, etc. I just posted another thread about my stuggle with self-confidence, and I realize that my brother is going through the same/similar thing. But...times 30! I think that he gets so frustrated with his own feeling of inadequacy that he bursts out in anger.. But we can't get through to him.. I don't know what to do..My mom and him are always yelling. And we stopped talking again a couple months ago, though we are starting to sort of talk lately... I feel like he's gotten slightly..slightly..better (since he met a girl...but i don't think they're going out) but it's still almost unbearable to live with. He's so angry and so stubborn..

My mom and I want to get him help...but you can't help someone who won't even admit or wants help.. I think that deep down he does.. I know he's frustrated.. I want to help him, it makes me extremely sad having lost my relationship with my brother. But I want to get him help because I know he can change..I hope he can..because he will have an extremely hard life without my mom and i later on.. and I don't want my dad's story to repeat

I will appreciate any advice