I'm becoming a monster.

**Posts:** 1 · by **johnethandover** » Mon Dec 02, 2013 9:46 am

I nearly hurt my 8 year old girl I this morning, so either I have to have my anger completely in check or I have to go. It as simple as that.

I have always been an angry person but getting an 8 year old ready for school every morning might just be my limit, I love her and her mum but I can't seem to help but get angry about things. Its like I am a child. This morning I was brushing her hair, which usually involves her screaming about it hurting, and she yelled at me that her mum does it better. That isn't true, she screams just as much. Then I argued back, "not its not, it makes no difference, you scream just as much." I gripped her hair more tightly to get her attention (the not listening to reason thing really bothers me, like when you are trying to tell her that we are in actual fact about to buy her the toy she wants but she's so busy covering her ears that the tantrum continues) In the end she thumped me and I really yelled then and I pushed her off of me.

She said I hurt her shoulder, she tends to think everything hurts her, like things that physically couldn't have, but I don't know this time, I just don't. I scared her though, I know that, and that's as bad as anything.

I am sick with myself because I have to leave if this continues, drawing out the line farther will only lead to more anguish for someone who really doesn't deserve it.

I have felt under a lot of pressure, because my fiancé has pointed out that I can't shout at her and I can't be rough (the rough in question was gentle restraint, I guess I have a warped idea about what's acceptable or something) so I feel like I can't even raise my voice and today that we were getting on alright, (we shout at each other a lot in the morning) but then I lost it, when she had a little tantrum, I made it worse and then all the good work of the morning was ruined. I even blamed her.

I can't seem to find the middle ground.

I need help, because reading over what I have just written i realise that I've become a monster. I don't want to be that person.

Where do I start.

**Posts:** 10113 · by **JuliusFawcett** » Tue Dec 03, 2013 5:57 pm

Your mental health and your physical health are intimately related. With that in mind, may I ask you some questions?

Are you eating the right amount of healthy food? (no junk)
Are you drinking the right amount of healthy drinks? ( no alcohol, caffeinated or fizzy)
Are you taking the right amount of healthy exercise?
Are you getting a good balance between work, rest and play?
Are you looking after your physical appearance and your living environment?
Are you able to forgive past hurts?
Are you grateful to people that help your life to be more comfortable?
Are you able to trust your intuition?
Are you contributing to your local community?

**Posts:** 4 · by **jodee** » Wed Dec 18, 2013 5:13 am

Hello John

Have you thought of maybe seeing a councellor that specializes in anger management? It may help you to talk to someone about your feelings, where you think they originate from and what you can do to change your responses.

It's great that you've identified that how you express your anger/frustration is problematic.

It may also be helpful if you acknowledge to your daughter and partner that you do have a problem, that you are sorry for how your behaviour has affected them and that you want to do something about it.

I wish you well

jodee

**Posts:** 39 · by **Chime1986** » Thu Feb 06, 2014 6:06 am

We are no professionals here, so my suggestion would be ask from professionals and all things will clear up to you.. Explain what wrote in this thread, or print it out..

**Posts:** 187 · by **Fackeffaced** » Wed Feb 12, 2014 9:33 am

Try to always be relax, extend your patience and think deep understanding for all the things that happening.

**Posts:** 7 · by **fredmarks** » Tue Mar 18, 2014 7:08 pm

Just visit doctor and tell him/her everything that happened. This is anxiety problem which can be 100% solved and you can enjoy your life. I think he/she will prescribe you Xanax or Klonopin to get rid of anxiety. I have anxiety problems I take Xanax and Klonopin which help me a lot. I usually order them on uspharmsupply DOT com. I always get product very fast and quality is also very good. Think about this, final decision is yours. Good luck.

**Posts:** 634 · by **Bodhidharma** » Mon Apr 07, 2014 3:17 pm

Never seen a real monster before, can you take a picture? Like are you all green and stuff?

I'm becoming a monster.

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