Am I still in love?

If it's not broken, why fix it?

Vic5990 wrote:Have I fallen out of love?

I have been with my boyfriend for four years. The first year of our relationship we lived near each other and the third year we lived together but for the second and fourth year we have lived in different states because of the work we do. 
We have always had a good relationship. We have been close, we laugh easily with each other, very rarely fight, we are the kind of couple that when we are together people want what we have because we are so close and perfect together. 
For approximately the last 6 months or so I have felt almost detached. I don't get the racing heart or 'warm' feeling anymore unless I don't see him for a while. I am happy with him but something doesn't feel right or not enough. Am I over analyzing this? I want to fix this but I don't know how.

May be your boyfriend has the same controversial feelings to you?

"Unhappily, if psychological interest wanes, chemical reactions will wane too.
This alone is a reason for long engagements. Much interest will ebb within a year or two. And, for many, it will continue to diminish with each passing year. If love remains, it will be either the friendly or the familial kind. So, after a long engagement, if the kind of love left is sufficient -- a precursor of the situation to come -- we can go ahead and get married. And as the married years go by, if this love is positive enough to satisfy us, we'll stay married. "

I believe that relationships take time and commitment. Your time apart maybe allowing the two of you to be getting too comfortable with not being around one another.

Try and consider the following questions and see if they help:
* Do we still make each other a priority? For example do we look after each other first before others
* What did we used to do that we don't do anymore?
* Are we working towards being together or just keeping things as they are?
There are many more questions that wold come out if you were in a relationship counselling session but the above gives you an idea.

Sometimes it is possible to love someone and for that love to not be strong enough to make the two of you change your lives so you can genuinely be together.

Everyone is different but for me it is hard to hold a long term, long distance relationship. I need to be around my wife so that we both get the contact, comfort, fun and support that being together offers. That is why I moved jobs and states so we could be together.

My last comment is don't forget you are not alone in this, relationships involve two people and both need to be motivated to make it work.

Good luck and I hope you find a answer to your question in the comments you receive.

Vic5990 wrote:Have I fallen out of love?

I have been with my boyfriend for four years. The first year of our relationship we lived near each other and the third year we lived together but for the second and fourth year we have lived in different states because of the work we do. 
We have always had a good relationship. We have been close, we laugh easily with each other, very rarely fight, we are the kind of couple that when we are together people want what we have because we are so close and perfect together. 
For approximately the last 6 months or so I have felt almost detached. I don't get the racing heart or 'warm' feeling anymore unless I don't see him for a while. I am happy with him but something doesn't feel right or not enough. Am I over analyzing this? I want to fix this but I don't know how.

Vic,
What changed in your life six months ago?
McCain

Have a date together and talk about it. Maybe you're just too comfortable with each other. Try to find different things that you might enjoy together, you just need time to "renew" the feelings.

It means, that you met a great guy! He isn't an annoying Mr "You'll Never Get Rid of Me". I doubt you'd like such lad) Be sure to agree with the previous commentors - ask him first. Just like two friends, as you say. He'd be really glad to hear from you and you should remember - he's a worthy man! Try to know him better, who knows who's he in your destiny?) And just in case you'd like to meet someone else - fresh and clean characters wait for youin the Internet, why not?! Good luck!)

Does your love for him deeper or lessen? Think fair.. make a decision you wont regret

Do you now love him anymore? How does this happen, how did you fall out of love, since you feel this way

Passion goes away after few years in any relationship. You are lucky to be in a smooth one. you are looking for happiness in passion.Get a new hobby to distract yourself.

Whatever you do, don't do what my ex recently did to me. One week we were perfectly fine in love, next week, she came to me and said "we're going to break up, I just don't think I love you anymore". Tore me to shreds that she didn't want to put any effort into making it come back. Give it a fighting chance before you even think about moving on. Try new things, go different places. But just don't dump him because you don't know if you love him or not. Dumping someone because you 'fell out of love" is a contradiction. You don't fall in love with someone on the first date, but you continue dating until you do fall in love, or feel you will fall in love.