8)I have all of my dad's family on my facebook account so we have gotten to know a little bit about each other. Can't wait till I can visit them often!
That can change with a boost in self-esteem, which sounds as if it needs a bit of work. There are people entering and leaving relationships at all ages, and older men are often much more 'lost' without a Significant Other than women are. Wrinkles and weight gain are irrelevant really. A happy face with a bit of sparkle in the eyes is more attractive than a scared one, at any age.As for a relationship, I haven't had very good luck.
Plenty of men, especially those mature enough not to be swayed by fashion advertising, prefer curves to bones. That being said, controlled weight loss gets rid of the bad stuff first, ie. the accumulated toxins that manifest in lumps and bumps of cellulite. So a short-term diet makes you look and feel better, and provides an instant boost to self-esteem.
We don't want good feelings about ourselves to be based chiefly on appearance, though; that's for the teens and 20-somethings. How you look is not what you have to offer a man. As older women we've ceased to be adornments and ego-boosters (aren't you glad?) and started to be observers, humourists, comforters and companions. Even a young man eventually gets fed up with the beautiful girl who's got nothing to say and doesn't understand him. What you've got to offer a man is your patience, kindness, company... to say nothing of those domestic skills that you're undervaluing now. Quite right that you knocked back that "older man" on line who wanted to enjoy the comforts of your home, raid your chili supplies and no doubt get his hands all over you, too! (even though it was me). We're looking for someone who values primarily who you are and secondarily what you can do for him. Naturally you have to appreciate who he is and what he offers, too.
Let's go back to the beginning and consider the therapist who meant so much to you. Was it his looks that drew you to him, or the way he listened and understood you? Would he have been a lesser man if he'd had a face like a walnut, a bit of flab and a gap in his smile?
By the way, a missing tooth isn't a big deal to an observer but it's a social handicap to the observed if it stops her smiling in public. I hope you won't be shocked at the next bit, because all chosen relationships are trade-offs, even if it's never made explicit. What if there were a man out there who's financially stable but lacks the feminine touch in his home life? I assure you there are lots of them, and the right one will be happy to stump up for a new fang.
If this is what you truly believe, you'll be avoiding eye contact, not showing interest, and generally giving off "stay away" vibes.companionship would be fantastic, but I don't think it's in the cards for me.
I suspect it's more a case of consulting history and seeing that you made two 'bad' choices, then your marriages were more trouble than they were worth. I'll go out on a limb here and suggest that on your wedding days you knew Hub 1 was using you and Hub 2 was a pervert, but that you overrode your feelings because you believed you couldn't do better.
This brings us back to self-esteem and relational difficulties, which I'm betting is why you were in therapy. There's a lot of work you can do on self-esteem by yourself if you have the will, although both issues are better addressed in company. If you believe you have nothing to offer and other people will always let you down, two things happen:
~ You start actively avoiding people
~ When you're with others, they confirm your beliefs
That appeals to me too, but you'll have to do the driving, the cooking and the cleaning. I don't want to get physical with you, either.One of my dreams is to get a van and live in it and travel from town to town
Seriously, if you can afford a van and the gas to make it go, this could be a brilliant, life-altering adventure for you and that wayward son of yours. Just a thought.