pls read

ctly a week later the scattered thinking came
back thought I was going mad my heart was pounding, I couldn't think straight
lots of unconnected thoughts couldn't
sleep so I took diazapam and I think that
where my problem started, I woke up the
next morning feeling like I never slept at
all music looping in my head , to cut it short over the past five months this are
my symptoms;
Intense Feeling like am in a dream
Head feels clogged
Can't hold a thought
Annoying unconnected thoughts Can't understand things the way they
are like I could be watching a romance
movie and be feeling scared
Can't sense my environment
I can't think atall the only way I can describe myself is stupid
Can't concentrate
Feeling like you are walled off from the world by a glass
Can't feel what am seeing or hearing
Unconnected thoughts
Music playing in my head 24 7
Dream every day
Feel like am thinking while sleeping Ears ringing
And anxiety
Pls this is too much for me I don't know if
it was the weed or the drug that did this
to me pls I really need help, always
thinking of killing my self but I really want to live pls what should I do or if
you know anyone who has gone through
my exact symptom and got better letting
me know will mean the world to me
: and pls I have posted this before but what I lets out was that I didn't just smoke the weed I tried to make it go directly into my head like sucking the smoke pls help me was it because of the sucking that caused this pls help