Fear and motivation

by **countSpanky** » Mon Nov 17, 2003 4:17 pm

Hi

I need some help in an important aspect of my life.

I consider myself to be fairly popular; I have lots of friends, and
when I talk to someone(male/female) I haven't met before, we
generally become close.

*WHEN* I talk to someone, meaning, I don't do that a lot. Right now,
when I meet up with some friends, I have this little bubble wherein
all my social life happens. Nothing, except my friends, can get in
there. I rarely meet new people, and I seem very unnaproachable
because of the dynamics within this "social bubble".

I want to change this. At the moment, I don't have the
motivation/balls to act and pull people inside that social bubble.

So, my question is twofold: anyone have any help on
1- becoming motivated to meet new people, and really LOVE the
process
(meaning, I'd be thrilled to get up and have a chat with strangers)
2- being fearless in the process.

I know there's no quick fix for this kinda thing, but I need to
settle this problem.

Thanks!

by **countSpanky** » Mon Nov 17, 2003 4:19 pm

Also note, that when I have been drinking I don't have this problem.

by **Mauru** » Mon Nov 17, 2003 10:25 pm

maybe you are suffering from anxiety but not in all places, only when meeting new people, and I can see that you are very but very deseperate to meet new people and that concerns the topic of being popular, you wnat to meet more people to become more popular? maybe is juts anxiety and I can't see that you are a teenager so I will not give youa advice,

**Posts:** 2821 · by **Roger Elliott** » Wed Nov 19, 2003 12:48 pm

I consider myself to be fairly popular; I have lots of friends, and
when I talk to someone(male/female) I haven't met before, we
generally become close

Well, that's pretty good going countSpanky!

You obviously have the innate skills needed to build friendships.

Maybe you could consider starting another small bubble separate from your existing one, to see if that could grow too. Plenty of people have separate 'sets' of friends who don't really know each other. It doesn't all have to be 'one big happy family' :wink:

You can certainly learn to love talking to new people, but as with anything, you may have to go through 'just putting up with the discomfort' until you get comfortable with it.

Best

Roger

Fear and motivation

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