I'm Back, Work Change, help me please.

I was wondering if someone ''adult'' here by that I mean more experienced than me based on what I'm about to talk about can tell me if I seem on the right track. I don't want judgements negatively, I just want to know if it sounds right. I've been through a lot lately and I am doing my best to be back on track and make myself better and prioritize my needs. I've been taking care of a lot of people around me and forgot about me. Now, I don't even listen to my inner voice as often, I just jump and do things to make myself feel better now. It may sound selfish, but maybe jumping instead of always thinking of the what ifs is what I need to do right now. I had nightmares, negative thoughts of the what ifs in any decisions I would make and it was driving me insane and unhappy. For example ; I was unhappy at my previous job. I had a good manager, but I hated the uniform, I hated looking at myself in the mirror with that uniform on and seeing wealthy people of all moods asking me for help. I was not working often there, only twice a week and wasn't very good at it. I was often tired, moody and I know you will all say ''work is work and working in not embarrassing'',but to me it was. I couldn't bare the sight of that uniform on me anymore or working with other people who are incredibly enthusiastic about that job when I wasn't.


I felt like I didn't belong there. I made the mistake to start working there because I was desperate for a job so I took whatever job that called me back. I realize that it is important to choose your job right in life. Because Yes I do have a choice and I don't have to feel obligated all the time. I decided that I have the power to do things to make myself happy. I don't have to suck up. So now I am applying to different companies who are in my interests, in the field I adore and fell in love with the first time I work and studied for it. I want to feel respected ; I want to wake up in the morning, make myself look pretty and respectable while feeling free and have a routine (4-5 days a week) with proper stable hours and no uniforms. It may not be important to others to seek all that for a job and happiness, but to me it is. I cried, I had nervous breakdowns and not I had just about enough. I need to make changes to make myself happy. I hope one of those jobs will hire me. I also am back on track to get my good looking body back to feel sexy and fit in all the clothes I no longer fit in. I read more to be more articulate when I talk to other people. When I go to events I talk with other people as soon as I find one or few that are compatible with my interests. I manage to spend time alone with myself to think about the good and the bad about me. My libido is stronger now that I feel free. I try to eat well to be mentally and physically healthier. I am also not afraid to explore new horizons and discover news things about the world and me. I see busy women who say to me they don't have time for happiness or themselves, but I don't want to be like that. So I work for me. I feel better, much better, I know I am not perfect. I still have issues and will do mistakes, but to me like is a big adventure and you sometimes have to do jumps to learn and get a thrill.